Subject: [Adslmib] First-Pass Review of vdsl2-04 ID

From: Clay Sikes <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 08 Mar 2008 12:46:27 -0500

Hi,

Moti, Scott, and Umberto, thank you for all your hard work and your
time on the ID.  It looks awesome.  I made a first-pass through the ID
and mostly could find white-space stuff.  I have a few minor comments
that
you may want to consider.  I have one more thing I want to look for and
will send another Email when I complete that process.

On page 4, the first sentence, commas may be needed to set off
parenthetical elements.  e.g., "Note that the management model, according to this document, does not allow managing VDSL
technology."

On page 5, an adjustment in white space may be required to cause
the equal signs to be on the same page as the Figure 1.

On page 8, a trend begins where in some places Xtuc/Xtur is used
and in others xTU-C/xTU-R.  The designation for the line termination
units seems to switch back and forth through out the ID.  I wonder if
there should be a consistent designation for the line termination unit
through out the document.

On page 9, Xdsl2Band, line 5, the sentence beginning with "for"
should be changed to "For."

On page 11, the comment text for l2(3) state for
Xdsl2PowerMngState needs some more white space indentation so that the
G in G.992.4 aligns with the L in L2 on the previous line.  The comment
text should be aligned like that for Xdsl2ConfPmsForce.

On page 15 and 16, some of the dashes don't align up.

On page 16, Xdsl2ScMaskUs, second sentence, there is an extra
space after the hyphen in "upstream sub- carrier mask."

Through out the ID, some places use "sub-carrier" while others
use "subcarrier."

On page 17, RFI is used but has not been defined as of yet.  Note
how PSD is defined in Xdsl2PsdMaskDs.

On page 18, Xdsl2ChAtmStatus, comments for noCellDelineation (1)
does not align up like the others.

On page 21, Xdsl2MrefPsdUs, needs to be preceded by a bland line
and there is a space before the colon character.

On page 28, "On the whole line level" bullet, second to last
line, there is an extra space after the hyphen in "15- minute."

On page 28, "On the xtu level" bullet, second to last line, there
is an extra space after the hyphen in "15- minute."

On page 28, "On the bearer channel level" bullet, second line,
there is an extra space after the hyphen in "15- minute" and on the
third line, there is an extra space after the hyphen in "interval-
counters."

On page 29, section 2.7.4. Interval Buckets Validity, second
paragraph, scenario 1, there is an extra space after the hyphen in "15-
minute."

On page 30, the second sentence should have hyphens added such
that: "line level provisioning" becomes "line-level provisioning" and
"channel level provisioning" becomes "channel-level provisioning."

On page 30, first paragraph, there are missing hyphens in the
third and forth line:

"line level provisioning" should be "line-level provisioning"

"channel-level provisioning" should be "channel-level
provisioning"

On page 30, second paragraph, the first sentence has an
extra space after a hyphen in  "profile-of- profiles."

On page 30, section 2.8.1, "Line Configuration Profiles" bullet,
second paragraph, third line, a hyphen is needed such that it reads
"SNR margin-related parameters.."

On page 31, section 2.8.2, an extra line is needed between the
section identifier and the first bullet.

On page 31, section 2.8.2, "Line Alarm Configuration Profiles"
bullet, first line, a hyphen is needed  such that it reads "Line-level
Alarm Configuration."

On page 31, section 2.8.2, "Channel Alarm Configuration Profiles"
bullet, first line, a hyphen is needed such that it reads
"Channel-level Alarm."

On page 31, section 2.8.2, "Line Alarm Configuration Templates"
bullet, the following hyphens are needed such that it reads:

First paragraph, second line, "line-level alarm configuration"

First paragraph, third line, "channel-level alarm configuration"

Second paragraph, second line, "line-level alarm configuration"

Second paragraph, third line, "channel-level alarm
configuration"

On page 33, continuing with section 2.8.4, first paragraph, sixth
line, there is an extra space after the hyphen in "channel- related."

On page 33, continuing with section 2.8.4, first paragraph, last
line, a hyphen is needed such that it reads "channel-related."

On page 33, continuing with section 2.8.4, last line in the first
paragraph, there is an extra space before the colon in "as follows :."

On page 34, third paragraph, a hyphen is missing for
"rate-limited" in two places, lines two and four.

Regarding the TCs, it would be nice to add references to the
sections in the various standards documents.  I know that they exist in
the MIB, but the redundancy would provide some independence to the TC
and may help implementors to speed up their implementation.  Note that
RFC 4706 has the references in the descriptions.

On page 37, align up the text for the comment for downstream(2)
to upstream(1).

On page 38, why not align the "(US1)" and "(VDSL2)" text with
previous "(DS1)" and "(VDSL2)."

On page 41, Xdsl2OperationModes, last sentence on the page, a
hyphen is needed such that it reads, "mode-specific configuration."

Some descriptions such as Xdsl2SymbolProtection on page 53 have
the beginning quote on a line by itself.

On page 55, Xdsl2CarMask, the description text uses the term
"subcarrier."  Other places use "sub-carrier."

On page 59, Xdsl2ChAtmStatus, noCellDelineation comments have
extra line breaks.

On page 60, Xdsl2ChPtmStatus, there is an extra space before the
closing quote in the description text.

On page 67, fifth paragraph, the description text is indented
differently that the others.

On page 69, xdsl2LineTable, there is an extra space before the
closing quote in the description text.

On page 76, xdsl2LineStatusXtrTransSys, there is an extra space
before the closing quote in the description text.

On page 77, xdsl2LineStatusXtur, there is an extra space before
the closing quote in the description text.

On page 78, xdsl2LineStatusXtuc, description has an extra space
between the last period and ending quote.

On page 86, xdsl2LineSegmentDirection, a period is missing before
the closing quote in the description text.

On page 87, middle terminating characters for xdsl2LineBandTable
are out of alignment.

On page 90, xdsl2ChannelStatusTable, there is an extra space
before the closing quote in the description text.

On page 95, xdsl2ChstatusAtmStatus description has inconsistent
spaces between the bit position identifiers and the opening parenthesis
for their numerical assignments.

On page 96, middle terminating characters for xdsl2SCStatusTable
are out of alignment.

On page 97, xdsl2SCStatusDirection, the period is missing before
the closing quote in the description text.

On page 98, should the syntax for xdsl2SCStatusLinScale and
xdsl2SCStatusLogMt be bound?

On page 99, should the syntax for xdsl2SCStatusQlnMt and
xdsl2SCStatusSnrMtime be bound?

Some rate objects are unbounded, while others are bound.  Not
sure if that was intended or if rate object should be consistently
unbounded or bounded .  See:

Page 78, xdsl2LineStatusAttainableRateDs

Page 78, xdsl2LineStatusAttainableRateUs

Page 91, xdsl2ChStatusActDataRate

Page 91 and 92, xdsl2ChStatusPrevDataRate

Page 100, xdsl2SCStatusAttainableRate

Page 149, xdsl2ChConfProfMinDataRateDs

Page 149, xdsl2ChConfProfMinDataRateUs

Page 149, xdsl2ChConfProfMinResDataRateDs

Page 149 and 150, xdsl2ChConfProfMinResDataRateUs

Page 150, xdsl2ChConfProfMaxDataRateDs

Page 150, xdsl2ChConfProfMaxDataRateUs

Page 150, xdsl2ChConfProfMinDataRateLowPwrDs

Page 151, xdsl2ChConfProfMinDataRateLowPwrUs

Page 154, xdsl2ChConfProfUsDataRateDs

Page 154, xdsl2ChConfProfDsDataRateDs

Page 154 and 155, xdsl2ChConfProfUsDataRateUs

Page 155, xdsl2ChConfProfDsDatatRateUs

On page 101, middle terminating characters for
xdsl2SCStatusBandTable are out of alignment.

On page 103, middle terminating characters for
xdsl2SCStatusSegmentTable are out of alignment.

On page 109, xdsl2LineIInventoryTable, there is an extra space
between the last period and ending quote for the description text.

On page 111, description for xdsl2LInvVersionNumber and
xdsl2LInvSerialNumber, a hyphen is need such that it reads
"vendor-specific information."

On page 112, xdsl2LineConfTemplateEntry, the period is missing
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 113, xdsl2LConfTempLineProfile references
Xdsl2LineConfProfTable.  Seems like it should be xdsl2LineConfProfTable.

On page 115, xdsl2LConfTempChan2ConfProfile, a hyphen is needed
in two places such that it reads "zero-length string."

On page 116, xdsl2LConfTempChan3ConfProfile, a hyphen is needed
in four places such that it reads "zero-length string."

On page 117, xdsl2LConfTempChan4ConfProfile, a hyphen is needed
in one place such that it reads "zero-length string."

On page 117, xdsl2LConfTempChan4ConfProfile, a hyphen is needed
in two places such that it reads "non-zero-length string."

On page 119, xdsl2LineConfProfEntry, the period is missing before
the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 122, xdls2LConfProfRfiBands use the term "subcarrier."
See comment above on "subcarrier" vs. "sub-carrier."

On page 123, xdsl2LConfProfRaUsNrmDs, should "Up-shift Noise" be
"Up-Shift Noise."

On page 124, xdsl2LConfProfRaUsNrmUs, xdsl2LConfProfRaUsTimeDs,
and xdsl2LConfProfRaUsTimeUs, should "Up-shift Noise" be "Up-Shift
Noise."

On page 125, xdsl2LConfProfRaDsNrmDs, xdsl2LConfProfRaDsNrmsUs,
and xdsl2LConfProfRaDsTimeDs, should "Down-shift Noise" be "Down-Shift
Noise."

On page 126, xdsl2LConfProfRaDsTimeUs, should "Down-shift Noise"
be "Down-Shift Noise."

On page 137, xdsl2LConfProfUs0Mask, has extra space before the
terminating quote for the description text.

On page 140, xdsl2LConfProfXdslMode, xdsl2LConfProfMaxNomPsdDs,
and xdsl2LconfProfMaxNomPsdUs, has extra space before the terminating
quote for the description text.

On page 142, xdsl2LConfProfPsdMaskDs, has extra space before
terminating quote for the description text.

On page 143, xdsl2LConfProfPsdMaskUs,
xdsl2LConfProfPsdMaskSelectUs, has extra space before terminating quote
for the description text.

On page 145, middle terminating characters for
xdsl2LineConfProfModeSpecBandUsTable are out of alignment.

On page 148, xdsl2ChConfProfileEntry, the period is missing
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 154, xdsl2ChConfProfUsDataRateDs, should "Up-shift rate"
be "Up-Shift rate."

On page 154, xdsl2ChConfProfDsDataRateDs, should "Down-shift
rate" be "Down-Shift rate."

On page 155, xdsl2ChConfProfUsDataRateUs, should "Up-shift rate"
be "Up-Shift rate."

On page 155, xdsl2ChConfProfDsDataRateUs, should "Down-shift rate
be "Down-Shift rate."

On page 156, middle terminating characters for
xdsl2LineAlarmConfTemplateTable are out of alignment.

On page 157, xdsl2LineAlarmConfTemplateEntry, is missing a period
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 158, xdsl2LAlarmConfTrempChan2ConfProfile, a hyphen is
needed such that it reads "non-zero-length string."

On page 158 and 159, xdsl2LAlarmConfTempChan3ConfProfile, a
hyphen is needed in two places such that it reads "non-zero-length
string."

On page 159, xdsl2LAlarmConfTempChan4ConfProfile, a hyphen is
needed in two places such that it reads "non-zero-length string."

On page 160, xdsl2LineAlarmConfProfileEntry, a hyphen is needed
such that it reads "vendor-specific" values.

On page 160, xdsl2LineAlarmConfProfileEntry, is missing a period
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 165, the middle terminating characters for
xdsl2ChAlarmConfProfileTable are out of alignment.

On page 165, xdsl2ChAlarmConfProfileEntry, is missing a period
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 167, xdsl2PMLineCurrTable, there is an extra space before
the terminating quote at the end of the description text.

On page 169, xdsl2PMLCurr15MTimeElapsed, is missing a period
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 172, xdsl2PMLCurr1DayUas, the hyphen in "severely-errored
seconds," seems like it shouldn't begin the line; it should be on the
end of the previous line if there is room.  If there is not room, the
word "severely" should be moved to the next line.

On page 172, xdsl2PMLineCurrInitTable, has an extra space before
the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 176, xdsl2PMLineHist15MinTable, has an extra space before
the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 179, xdsl2PMLHist15MUas, the hyphen in "severely-errored
seconds," seems like it shouldn't begin the line; it should be on the
end of the previous line if there is room.  If there is not room, the
word "severely" should be moved to the next line.

On page 179, xdsl2PMLineHist1DayTable and
xdsl2PMLineHist1DayEntry, should read "24-hour intervals."

On page 179, xdsl2PMLineHist1DayTable, has an extra space before
the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 182, xdsl2PMLHist1DUas, the hyphen in "severely-errored
seconds," seems like it shouldn't begin the line; it should be on the
end of the previous line if there is room.  If there is not room, the
word "severely" should be moved to the next line.

On page 182, xdsl2PMLineInitHist15MinTable and
xdsl2PMLineInitHist15MinEntry, should read "15-minute intervals."

On page 182, xdsl2PMLineInitHist15MinTable, has an extra space
before the terminating quote for the description text.

On page 184 and 185, xdsl2PMLineInitHist1DayTable and
xdsl2PMLineInitHist1DayEntry, should read "24-hour intervals."

On page 187, xdsl2PMChCurrTable, has and extra space before the
terminating quote for the description text.

On page 190, xdsl2PMChHist15MinTable and xdsl2PMChHist15MinEntry,
seem to have their description copied from the xdsl2PMChCurrTable and
they should be stating that the table contains PM history for 15-minute
intervals.

On page 190, xdsl2PMChHist15MinTable, there is an extra space
before the closing quote in the description text.

On page 190, xdsl2PMChHist15MinTable, there is an extra space
before the terminating quote in the description text.

On page 192, xdsl2PMChHist1DTable and xdsl2PMChHist1DEntry, a
hyphen is needed such that it reads "1-day intervals."

On page 192, xdsl2PMChHist1DTable, there is an extra space before
the closing quote in the description text.

On page 192, xdsl2PMChHist1DTable, there is an extra space before
the closing quote in the description text.

On page 200, xdsl2LineConfProfRaGroup, a hyphen is needed such
that it reads "rate-adaptive behavior."

On page 200, xdsl2ChAlarmConfProfileGroup,  a hyphen is needed
such that it reads "channel-level PM counters."

On page 201, xdsl2PMLineInitHist15MinShortGroup, should read
"15-minute intervals."

On page 201, xdsl2PMLineInitHist1DayShortGroup, should read
24-hour intervals."

On page 207, xdsl2LineConfProfRaGroup, a hyphen is needed such
that it reads "rate-adaptive behavior."

On page 211, xdsl2PMLineCurrGroup, a hyphen is needed such that
it reads "line-level counters."

On page 212, xdsl2PMLineHist15MinGroup and
xdsl2PMLineHist1DayGroup, a hyphen is needed such that it reads
"line-level PM counters."

On page 212, xdsl2PMLineHist15MinGroup and
xdsl2PMLineInitHist15MinGroup, should read "15-minute intervals."

On page 212, xdsl2PMLineHist1DayGroup, should read "24-hour
intervals."

On page 213, xdsl2PMLineInitHist15MinShortGroup, should read
"15-minute intervals."

On page 213, xdsl2PMLineInitHist1DayGroup and
xdsl2PMLineInitHist1DayShortGroup should read "24-hour intervals."

On page 214, xdsl2PMChCurrGroup, xdsl2PMChHist15MinGroup, and
xdsl2PMChHist1DGroup, should read "channel-level counters."

On page 216, Security Considerations section, fourth line, has an
extra space in "non- secure."

On page 222, last paragraph, in two places, should "rate
limiting" read "rate-limiting."  Also see page 223, third-to-the-last
paragraph as well.

On page 225, top, "wipro" should be "Wipro," "infineon" should be
"Infineon," "avaya" should be "Avaya."

There are various objects that have "will,"  "must," and
"should," typically row status objects.  It seems like key words per
RFC 2119 should be used.

There are several objects whose descriptions seem to have
premature line breaks.  Just to name a few:

xdsl2LineCnfgTemplate

xdsl2LineAlarmCnfgTemplate

xdsl2LineSegment

xdsl2ChStatusActDataRate

xdsl2ChStatusLPath

xdsl2LineInventoryEntry

Some TCs/objects have the beginning quote on a line by itself
which seems to not be consistent with the majority.  Just to name a few:

Xdsl2SymbolProtection

Xdsl2SymbolProtection8

Some descriptions have inconsistent left indentation.  Just to
name a few:

xdsl2LineCnfgTemplate

xdsl2LineStatusInitResult

xdsl2LineStatusTssiDs

xdsl2StatusChangeNotificationGroup

Thanks again for your work!

Best Regards,

Clay Sikes

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