Subject: RE: [AVT] RE: I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-avt-hc-over-mpls-protocol-02.txt

From: "Ash, Gerald R \(Jerry\)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 7 Jan 2006 09:07:58 -0600

Colin,

> >> I still find this draft difficult to read, and in need of a
> >> significant rewrite to improve the quality of the prose, and of the
> >> explanations.

> > Please provide any specific suggestions and/or suggested 
> > text, that way you're more likely to be happy with the result!

> >> and editing the protocol description for clarity of explanation.

> > Again, please provide any specific suggestions and/or suggested
> > text.

> It is the responsibility of the authors to ensure a draft is  
> readable, with good quality prose, not the responsibility of the  
> working group chair.

Of course.  But as a commenter, when you suggest to 'rewrite the
document', it is more helpful to point to specific areas to rewrite, and
most helpful to provide suggested text.  That is often done, especially
by working group chairs in my experience.  That is likely to converge
faster.

> If you are unable to copy edit the draft  
> yourself, I would suggest you hire a professional technical 
> writer to do so.

A bit insulting if you're serious.  I think the authors have
demonstrated the ability to write clearly, thank you.

Jerry

_______________________________________________
Audio/Video Transport Working Group
[email-masked]
https://www1.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/avt

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From: Colin Perkins <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 7 Jan 2006 15:37:47 +0000

Jerry,

> by working group chairs in my experience.  That is likely to converge

I've provided some suggestions, but it is difficult for me to be more  
specific on which areas to rewrite when I see the same problems with  
the entire document.

>> If you are unable to copy edit the draft yourself, I would suggest  
>> you hire a professional technical writer to do so.
>

No insult was intended, and I apologise for any offence caused.  
Drafts which contain a good technical idea, but are not sufficiently  
clearly written, are a common problem in the IETF. I have suggested  
in several previous cases that the authors seek input from a  
professional copy editor or technical writer, when a good draft is  
being held up due to significant editorial issues. It typically helps  
the draft progress quickly, allowing the author focus his/her energy  
on the interesting technical work, rather than on the details of the  
editing process.

Colin