Subject: [dhcwg] Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-yang-24: (with COMMENT)

From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 16 Dec 2021 04:59:17 -0800

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-dhc-dhcpv6-yang-24: No Objection

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COMMENT:
----------------------------------------------------------------------

All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 4.1. , paragraph 10, nit:
-        to the license terms contained in, the Simplified BSD License
-                                               ^ ^^^^^^
+        to the license terms contained in, the Revised BSD License
+                                               ^^^ ^

Also elsewhere, please change them all. (The TLP recently changed.)

Section 3.1. , paragraph 3, nit:
>  than 128-octets) content field. Currently there are four defined types of D
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Currently".
[SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA]

Section 3.1. , paragraph 5, nit:
> ed when there is a status message for an failure. 3.2. DHCPv6 Relay Tree Dia
>                                       ^^
Use "a" instead of "an" if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound,
e.g. "a sentence", "a university". [EN_A_VS_AN]

Section 3.3. , paragraph 3, nit:
> th (1-128 octets) content field. Currently there are four defined types of D
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^
A comma may be missing after the conjunctive/linking adverb "Currently".
[SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA]

Section 4.1. , paragraph 20, nit:
>  this option to tell the client whether or not to accept Reconfigure messages
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you
mean "regardless of whether". [WHETHER]

Section 4.2. , paragraph 38, nit:
> nitions for DHCPv6 options that can be be sent by the client. Additional opti
>                                     ^^^^^
Possible typo: you repeated a word. [ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE]

Section 4.4. , paragraph 29, nit:
> tions The following section provides a example of how the DHCPv6 option defi
>                                      ^
Use "an" instead of "a" if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g.
"an article", "an hour". [EN_A_VS_AN]

Section 4.4. , paragraph 29, nit:
> escription "SIP server list identifier identifier."; } leaf sip-serv-domain-n
>                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Possible typo: you repeated a word. [ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE]

Section 4.4. , paragraph 33, nit:
> on "Configures how the server will stores leases."; choice storage-type { de
>                                    ^^^^^^
The modal verb "will" requires the verb's base form. [MD_BASEFORM]

Section 4.4. , paragraph 35, nit:
> rname { type string; description "User name of the account under which the se
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
It's more common nowadays to write this noun as one word.
[RECOMMENDED_COMPOUNDS]

Section 5. , paragraph 2, nit:
> rname { type string; description "User name of the account under which the se
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^
It's more common nowadays to write this noun as one word.
[RECOMMENDED_COMPOUNDS]