Subject: review of draft-ietf-disman-express-mib-09.txt

From: Juergen Schoenwaelder <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 7 Jul 1999 14:01:37 +0200

I did a (hopefully final) review of the latest expression MIB ID
<draft-ietf-disman-express-mib-09.txt>. Here are the nits I found:

o Typo "bby" in section 3.

o Citation [MIBEventMIB] in section 3 should be [RFCEventMIB]. (We
  also need to make sure that the RFC editor replaces this with the
  right [RFCxxxx] citation.)

o The editor may want to fix the indentation of `[RFC2571].' in the
  description of expValueEntry.

o In the description of expExpression, replace "(RFC 1903)" with
  "[RFC2579]".

o Remove [RFC1903] from the references section since its a) incorrect
  and b) obsoleted by [RFC2579].

o Replace the citation "[RFCEventMIB]" in the security considerations
  section with "[RFC2575]". Also replace the string "RFC 2275" with
  "RFC 2575" in this section.

o I had problems to understand the following paragraph in section 8
  (note also the typo in the first line):

:   Access control for the objects within the expression depends on th
:   security credentials of the expression creator.  These are the security
:   credentials used to get the objects necessary to evaluate the
:   expression.  They are the security credentials that were used to set the
:   expExpressionRowStatus object for that expression to 'active', as
:   recorded by the managed system.

  What about the following replacement text:

    Access control for the objects within the expression depends on the
    security credentials of the expression creator. These security
    credentials are recorded when the expExpressionRowStatus object for
    that expression is set to 'active'. The recorded credentials are
    used whenever expression objects are read or sampled in order to
    evaluate the expression.

  I think its clearer. Feel free to use/edit/ignore it.

All of these issues are editorial. My last call comments have been
addressed. We are ready to move this document forward as far as I am
concerned.
							Juergen
-- 
Juergen Schoenwaelder  [email-masked] http://www.cs.tu-bs.de/~schoenw
Technical University Braunschweig, Dept. Operating Systems & Computer Networks
Bueltenweg 74/75, 38106 Braunschweig, Germany.        (Tel. +49 531 / 391 3289)

---

From: Randy Presuhn <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 05:00:33 -0700 (PDT)

Hi -

I would like the editor should apply these corrections and put out an
updated I-D at the close of the last call.  If no requests for technical
corrections show up, that will be the draft I request our ADs take to
the IESG.  If the only changes are these typographical fixes, I believe
there is no need to renew the WG last call, and we should be able to
meet our current timetable.

> Date: Wed, 7 Jul 1999 14:01:37 +0200
> From: Juergen Schoenwaelder <[email-masked]>
> To: [email-masked]
> Subject: review of draft-ietf-disman-express-mib-09.txt
> 
> 
...

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