Subject: [Gen-art] Genart review of draft-goodwin-iso-urn-00.txt

From: "Sharon Chisholm" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 08:45:06 -0400

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer
for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-goodwin-iso-urn-00.txt

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits
that should be fixed before publication.

Comments:

1. In section 2.4, in defining "simpleVesrion", it says 'In the
"simpleversion", the first version published is "1", and each subsequent
correction or amendment increases the version number by 1.', but the
formal definition of simpleVersion is DIGIT, not DIGITS, which would
imply the maximum value for simpleVersion is 9. These two definitions do
not match up. It would be good to verify other definitions of DIGIT as
well, to ensure the correct cardinality.

2. Section 2.4 is really long. I realize this is from template, but I
think breaking it into two subsections would be helpful. I would suggest
one for the definition and one for the examples at the end. This still
leaves a fairly big section 2.4.1, but I think it might be workable if
the document is more careful to not leave ambiguities in the text. I've
highlighted a few of these in my comments.

3. In section 2.4, replace '"originator" the organization' with
'"originator" is the organization'

4. In section 2.4, in the note right after the discussion about
partnumber, it says that "This option has been included", but it wasn't
clear whether the option was the fact you could specify part number or
the fact that it was optional. Logic would indicate it should be the
first, but from the text it might have been the second. It would be good
to clarify this ambiguity.

5. In section 2.4, in the paragraph 'Except for the case where it is
required to refer to a multipart document in its entirety, this element
is required if the identified resource is a part of an ISO document.
Otherwise, this element is not used.', are we talking about "type" or
"partnumber"? The last element named was "type", but this is talking
about parts. Can we clarify?

6. In section 2.4, just under the definition of simpleVersion, there is
a quick reference to "docversion" and then the following text:
"
      Current values:

         1 - first version published

         2 - corrected version published"
Are these the current values of docversion or simpleversion? Can we
clarify in the document?

7. In section 2.4, just under the definition of supplements, replace
"Supplements are numbered consecutively per ISO document, and within
each type." with "Supplements are numbered consecutively per ISO
document, and within each supplement type."

8. Why is section 2.5 here? Isn't this just the Informative reference
section?

9. In section 3.1, third last paragraph it says "At the same time, it is
necessary for certain types of use to be able to refer to
specificeditions, or specific publication forms (for example, editions
in different languages, or to PDF or HTML versions)" and while the urn
facility is able to indicate the language, I didn't see any discussion
about format (pdf, html). Does this matter?

10. In section 3.2, first paragraph after the bullets, replace
"(original edition 1984, the RFC cites the 1988 CCITT edition of the
encoding rules in ISO/IEC 8825)" with "(original edition 1984; RFC3061
cites the 1988 CCITT edition of the encoding rules in ISO/IEC 8825)".
This makes it clearly which RFC you are referring to, but there might be
a better way to fix the text in the bracket.

11. In section 5, the IANA Considerations section, I don't understand
the text "(responsibility of the IANA registry)". From what I read, this
document does not seem to be making any requests to IANA.

Sharon Chisholm
Nortel 
Ottawa, Ontario
Canada

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