Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-netlmm-threats-04.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 15 Nov 2006 23:45:22 +0100

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-netlmm-threats-04.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 15 November 2006
IESG Telechat date: 16 November 2006

Summary: Ready

Comments: I have some grammar questions which should be handled by
the RFC Editor in 3.1 page 8:
 - can to trick -> can trick
 - a variety of ... which make mouting -> makes? mounting
                                              ^     ^
   (if someone finds the answer for the grammar point in the web,
    can (s)he give a pointer? I've based my comment on French,
    perhaps English is different. BTW "a large number of" is plural
    without question).
 - both on-link and off-link -> either on-link or off-link?

Regards

[email-masked]

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From: Christian Vogt <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 16 Nov 2006 00:09:28 +0100

Hi Francis,

thanks for your review!

 >     perhaps English is different. BTW "a large number of" is plural

FWIW:  I had to look this up on the Web myself and it seems that the 
English grammar is in this case exactly the opposite as the German: 
While Germans would use the German version of "a variety of attack 
barriers /makes/...", Americans seem to use a plural verb in this 
context: "a variety of attack barriers make...".  I found this 
information at:

http://www.askoxford.com/asktheexperts/faq/aboutgrammar/numberofpeople?view=uk

Native speakers, please correct me if this is incorrect.

Kind regards,
- Christian

-- 
Christian Vogt, Institute of Telematics, Universitaet Karlsruhe (TH)
www.tm.uka.de/~chvogt/pubkey/

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From: Scott W Brim <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2006 09:05:26 -0500

a variety ... makes

swb

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From: Christian Vogt <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 20 Nov 2006 21:39:26 +0100

Hi Francis,

after the (on- and off-list) clarifications from Eric and Scott, we
corrected the typos that you identified below.

Note that we did not submit a new draft version yet.  It may be easier
to merge these changes in when the document is at the RFC Editor.

Best regards,
- Christian

---

From: Jari Arkko <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2006 10:06:08 +0200

Christian,
> to merge these changes in when the document is at the RFC Editor.
This document has been approved last Thursday.
The RFC Editor probably catches this issue, but
you should verify at AUTH48, so keep it in mind.
No new versions should be submitted.

--Jari