Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-shacham-sipping-session-mobility-04.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:20:32 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-shacham-sipping-session-mobility-04.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2007-09-20
IETF LC End Date: done
IESG Telechat date: on next agenda

Summary: Ready

Comments: I have a few editorial comments:
 - ToC page 2 and 11 page 32: s/Acknowledgements/Acknowledgments/
 - 1 page 4: s/teh/the/
 - 3 page 5: s/SLP [18]Directory/SLP [18] Directory/
 - 4 page 6: s/search e.g.,/search, e.g.,/ ?
 - 5.2 page 9: please expand the "AOR" abbrev at its first use.
 - 5.3.1.2 page 13: s/active endpoint, opening/active endpoint [by] opening/ ?
 - 5.4.1 page 18 and some others: some too long lines in the examples
 - 5.4.1 page 19: s/5.3.2/5.4.2/ ? (note this is the only one which is not
   at 100% in the scope of the RFC Editor, so please check)

Regards

[email-masked]

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