Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review IETF LC of draft-adolf-dvb-urn-00.txt

From: Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2007 15:58:18 +0300

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-adolf-dvb-urn-00.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]>
Review Date: 2007-10-09
IETF LC End Date: 2007-10-31

Summary: The document is almost ready for publication as an 
Informational RFC. There are a few nits that could be polished.

Comments:

- I am surprised that the document includes only one reference (to RFC
2141). In particular, I am missing a reference to RFC 3406 (URN 
namespace definition mechanism). Perhaps the Introduction section should 
add a sentence indicating that the document follows the registration 
process specified RFC 3046. At least the document correctly follows the 
registration procedure of RFC 3406.

- Section 2, "Declaration of structure" indicates that the URN will
contain US-ASCII characters. Is this correct? I think it would be better
to refer directly to the syntax in RFC 2141 without having the US-ASCII
characters as a "strange intermediary".

So, I would like the authors to consider to replace the current text:

       URNs assigned by DVB will have the following hierarchical
       structure based on the organizational structure of the DVB
       standards:

          urn:dvb:{assigned US-ASCII string}

       where "{assigned US-ASCII string}" is a US-ASCII string that
       conforms to URN Syntax requirements ([RFC2141]).

with this other text:

       URNs assigned by DVB will have the following hierarchical
       structure based on the organizational structure of the DVB
       standards:

          urn:dvb:{NSS}

       where the syntax of "{NSS}" is specified in Section 2.2 of the URN
       Syntax requirements ([RFC2141]).

- Section 7, IANA considerations section, could be a bit more clear if
it said:

    This document defines a URN NID registration of "dvb". IANA is 
request to include it in the URN Namespaces registry.

- Section 8.1, the existing reference to RFC 2141 fails to mention "RFC
2141".

So, replace:
    [RFC2141]  Moats, R., "URN Syntax", May 1997.
with:
    [RFC2141]  Moats, R., "URN Syntax", RFC 2141, May 1997.

- On the front page, the author affiliation looks a bit strange, and it
is different from that in the last page. Also, the number of authors in
the first and last page differ.

/Miguel

______________________________
-- 
Miguel A. Garcia           tel:+358-50-4804586
Nokia Siemens Networks     Espoo, Finland

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---

From: "Alexander Adolf" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:37:04 +0200

Dear Mr. Garcia,

On 2007-10-19 15:58 +0300 Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]> wrote:

> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call
> comments you may receive.

Thank you very much for picking this one up and for spending your
time reviewing the doc.

> [...]
> [...]

Thanks very much also for your kind comments and thorough review. I
appreciate your very sensible suggestions and am perfectly ok with
all of the. I will submit a new revision incorporating your
suggestions next week.

Thanks a lot again and have a nice weekend,

  --alexander adolf

Micronas GmbH
Company Headquarters / Sitz der Gesellschaft: Freiburg i. Br. - Municipal Court of / Amtsgericht: Freiburg i. Br. HRB 428. VAT ID / USt-IdNr.: DE 811127087
Management / Geschaftsfuhrung: Dr. Wolfgang Kalsbach, Chairman / Vorsitzender, Hans-Jurgen Desor, Klaus Heberle,
Nikolaus V. Kaeppeler, Wilfried Lowinski, Dirk Wieberneit, Wolfgang Kuhn - Chairman of Supervisory Board / Vorsitzender des Aufsichtsrats: Heinrich W. Kreutzer

---

From: "Alexander Adolf" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 31 Oct 2007 14:52:54 +0100

Dear Mr. Garcia,

> Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments

Although a week later than promised, I have updated the draft with your
comments (which were the only ones I received BTW). Today (as the IETF
LC ends) I sent version 01 incorporating your suggestions to the IETF
secretariat. It is also enclosed for your reference.

Thanks a lot again and best regards,

  --alexander adolf

> namespace definition mechanism). Perhaps the Introduction section
> should add a sentence indicating that the document follows the
> registration process specified RFC 3046. At least the document
> correctly follows the registration procedure of RFC 3406.
> 

Micronas GmbH
Company Headquarters / Sitz der Gesellschaft: Freiburg i. Br. - Municipal Court of / Amtsgericht: Freiburg i. Br. HRB 428. VAT ID / USt-IdNr.: DE 811127087
Management / Geschaftsfuhrung: Dr. Wolfgang Kalsbach, Chairman / Vorsitzender, Hans-Jurgen Desor, Klaus Heberle,
Nikolaus V. Kaeppeler, Wilfried Lowinski, Dirk Wieberneit - Chairman of Supervisory Board / Vorsitzender des Aufsichtsrats: Heinrich W. Kreutzer