Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-mipshop-handover-key-03.txt

From: Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 07 Nov 2007 09:04:20 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-mipshop-handover-key-03.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]>
Review Date: 2007-11-06
IETF LC End Date: 2007-11-14
IESG Telechat: 2007-11-15

Summary: The document is ready for publication as a proposed standard.

Comments: I just have a few nits. So, feel free to discard them if
you feel it.

- I think the Abstract is way too long, and goes way beyond the 5-10
lines that the RFC Editor recommends (see Section 4.5 in
ftp://ftp.rfc-editor.org/in-notes/rfc-editor/instructions2authors.txt )

So, I think you can leave the first two sentences of the abstract and 
move the rest to the Introduction section.

- Try to expand acronyms at the firs occurrence. For example, CGA is not 
  written immediately after "Cryptographically Generated Address". Other 
terms, such as "MAC" are never expanded.

- The second author's affiliation is incorrect, so is his e-mail address.

That's all. Cheers,

       Miguel
-- 
Miguel A. Garcia           tel:+358-50-4804586
Nokia Siemens Networks     Espoo, Finland

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From: Jari Arkko <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:17:21 +0200

Miguel,

Thanks for your review! I placed the acronym and e-mail address
issues in the tracker as RFC Editor notes, and plan to leave the
abstract issue to AUTH48 or the next draft update if there is one.

Jari

Miguel Garcia kirjoitti:
> - Try to expand acronyms at the firs occurrence. For example, CGA is
> not  written immediately after "Cryptographically Generated Address".
> Other terms, such as "MAC" are never expanded.
>