Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-sipping-consent-format-06

From: Christian Vogt <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2008 23:27:13 -0400

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call
comments you may receive.

Document:  draft-ietf-sipping-consent-format-06
Reviewer:  Christian Vogt
Review Date:  March 10, 2008
IETF LC End Date:  March 6, 2008
IESG Telechat date:  --

Summary:  This draft is basically ready for publication, but has nits 
that should be fixed before publication.

Comments:

(1) It would be nice if section 3.1 would briefly explain what a
     condition is -- like sections 3.2 and 3.2.1 explain what an action
     or translation handling is, respectively.  That would make it easier
     for the reader to put the rest of the section into context.

(2) It seems that section 3.2.1. ("Translation Handling") should get
     the number 3.3.  The introduction of section 3 talks about three
     parts in a permission document -- conditions, actions, and
     transformations.  There is section 3.1 for conditions, section 3.2
     for actions, but a section 3.3 for transformations is missing.  I
     think current section 3.2.1 is actually meant to be section 3.3.

- Christian

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