Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-pim-bsr-mib-04.txt

From: "Spencer Dawkins" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:02:46 -0500

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for
this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.

Thanks,

Spencer

Document: draft-ietf-pim-bsr-mib-04.txt
Reviewer: Spencer Dawkins
Review Date: 2008-03-31 (LATE)
IETF LC End Date: 2008-03-26
IESG Telechat date: (if known)
Summary: Ready for publication as a Proposed Standard

Comments: there are a small number of questions I tagged as "Clarity:" in 
the notes below. If this draft is revised, it would be worth looking at 
these questions.

4.  Overview

   This MIB module contains four tables.  The tables are:

   1.  The Candidate-RP Table, which contains one row for each multicast
       group address prefix for which the local router is to advertise
       itself as a Candidate-RP.  This table exists on routers that are
       configured as Candidate-RP.

Clarity: I'm reading this as "configured to advertise itself as 
Candidate-RP" - right? That seems to be the terminology used in the MIB 
descriptions, and is more clear to me (if I understood correctly here).

Clarity: There are a decent number of multicast abbreviations that aren't 
expanded on first use. If the document gets respun after Last Call, it would 
be worth making sure these terms are expanded on first use (otherwise the 
RFC Editor has to either ask you or guess).

5.  Definitions

   pimBsrCandidateRPStatus OBJECT-TYPE
       SYNTAX     RowStatus
       MAX-ACCESS read-create
       STATUS     current
       DESCRIPTION
               "The status of this row, by which new entries may be
               created, or old entries deleted from this table.

Clarity: I'm sorry, but I don't get "status by which new entries may be 
created/old entries deleted" - is that actually how it works? I would have 
thought the status was the side effect of creation/deletion, not how 
creation/deletion actually happens. s/by which new/used to identify when 
new/? but I'm guessing here.

               This status object can be set to active(1) without
               setting any other columnar objects in this entry

               All writable objects in this entry can be modified
               when the status of this entry is active(1)."

       ::= { pimBsrCandidateRPEntry 10 } 

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---

From: "Spencer Dawkins" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:11:21 -0500

Hi, Bharat,

I'm getting

The following message to <[email-masked]> was undeliverable.
The reason for the problem:
5.1.0 - Unknown address error 550-'5.1.1 <[email-masked]>... User unknown'

for your co-author... it would be great if that got updated, too.

Thanks,

Spencer

---

From: Bharat Joshi <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 13:54:28 +0530

Hi Spencer,

     Thanks for reviewing this document. I shall add clarification you
have asked for in the next revision.

     Please see my response in line.

Thanks,
Bharat

> descriptions, and is more clear to me (if I understood correctly here).

Ok. I agree that adding 'configured to' in the statement makes it more
explicit.

> RFC Editor has to either ask you or guess).

Ok. I shall expand them on their first usage. If require, I will add
them in the terminology section.

> new/? but I'm guessing here.

The 'RowStatus' object is used for two purposes. One is to provide the
current status of a Row and another is to create/delete a specific Row.
So this statement looks ok.

>        ::= { pimBsrCandidateRPEntry 10 }

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From: Bharat Joshi <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 13:55:27 +0530

Hi Spencer,

> for your co-author... it would be great if that got updated, too.

Yes. I knew about this. Raina has left Cisco sometime back. I have got
his personal mail-id which I will update in the draft as and when I
create a new revision.

Thanks & Regards,
Bharat