Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-mpls-cosfield-def-07.txt

From: "Miguel A. Garcia" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2008 17:01:13 +0100

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-mpls-cosfield-def-07.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]>
Review Date: 2008-11-27
IETF LC End Date: 2008-12-04

Summary: The document is ready for publication as a standards track RFC.

Comments: A few suggestions for improving the document. Take them at your 
own discretion.

- I would suggest to put the title of the draft into context. It may be 
sufficient to add the word MPLS (and expand it) to the beginning of the 
current title. But the reader should know that this is related to MPLS 
and not to other technologies (say, IPv6).

- Expand acronyms at first occurrence. This includes, e.g., LSP.

- There is a bit of a problem in Section 2.1, since there are two figures 
with the number 1. I understand the idea being that the second figure 
replaces the first, but I can see a problem when, in the future, someone 
refers to "Figure 1 in RFC xxxx". It may cause confusion as to which 
figure it is referring. I wonder if it is possible to renamed the second 
Figure 1 as "Figure 1 bis", o "new Figure 1", or something that avoids 
confusion.

- Section 2.3 contains three different parts: The current text in Section 
2 of RFC 5129, an update to Section 1.1. in RFC 5129, and the new text to 
Section 2 of RFC 5129. I think the logical order of expressing the ideas 
should be: update to Section 1.1., current Section 2, updated Section 2.

- Typos in Section 1: s/publshed/published
   s/encapsulted/encapsulated
   s/defintions/definitions
   s/respository/repository

- Grammar in Section 1:s/EXP field are used/EXP field is used

- Typo in Section 2.4: s/refrence/reference

- Typo in Section 3: s/funtions/functions

- Grammar in section 4: s/There are no request for/The are no requests for

- Typo in the Abstract: s/This include a/This includes a/

- Typo in the abbreviated title: s/defintion/definition

- Section 1, fourth paragraph: expand "wrt"

/Miguel

-- 
Miguel A. Garcia
+34-91-339-3608
Ericsson Spain
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