Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-pkix-ecc-subpubkeyinfo-10.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:33:10 +0100

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-pkix-ecc-subpubkeyinfo-10.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2008-12-03
IETF LC End Date: 2008-12-09
IESG Telechat date: 1008-12-18

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None
Minor issues: None
Nits/editorial comments: 
 - the Abstract mentions RFC 3279 when the body of the document uses only
 the reference [PKI-ALG]. The standard solution should be to add the reference
 into the Abstract but it is forbidden so I propose to add the title of
 RFC 3279 in the Abstract.

 - TOC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

 - 1 page 2: I propose to add "RFC 3279" before the first [PKI-ALG]

 - 2.1 page 4: "This value is also used when a key is used with ECDSA."
  wording can be improved if the word "used" is not used twice?

 - 2.1.1 page 5: "The AlgorithmIdentifier within subjectPublicKeyInfo is
  the only place ..." formally the AlgorithmIdentifier is the type of
  the field, not the field name so is not a "place"

 - 3 page 7: at the first occurrence: CA -> Certification Authority (CA)

 - 3 page 8: at	the first occurrence: EE -> End Entity (EE)

 - 4 page 10: please either add a reference for the MOV (Menezes, Okamoto
  and Vanstone) "condition" or improve the the wording making clear the
  whole sentence is referenced by [X9.62].

 - 4 page 10: IMHO it is not really necessary to add references for MD2
  and MD5.

 - 6 page 11: in NIST's arc -> in the NIST arc

 - 7 page 11: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

 - 8.1 page 12: Standards for Efficient Cryptography ->
  Standards for Efficient Cryptography Group (SECG)

Regards

[email-masked]

PS: I don't comment about the technical details (I believe a consensus
was reached even this took a long time and many messages :-) and I assume
the ASN.1 part was (or will soon be) checked with dedicated tools.
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---

From: "Turner, Sean P." <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2008 12:45:02 -0500

Francis,

Thanks for the review.  Proposed resolutions for comments are inline.

spt

>-----Original Message-----
>From: [email-masked] [mailto:[email-masked]] 
>Sent: Friday, December 05, 2008 4:33 AM
>To: [email-masked]
>Cc: [email-masked]; [email-masked]; 
>[email-masked]; [email-masked]; [email-masked]; 
>[email-masked]
>Subject: review of draft-ietf-pkix-ecc-subpubkeyinfo-10.txt
>
>Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD 
>before posting a new version of the draft.
>
> - the Abstract mentions RFC 3279 when the body of the 
>document uses only  the reference [PKI-ALG]. The standard 
>solution should be to add the reference  into the Abstract but 
>it is forbidden so I propose to add the title of  RFC 3279 in 
>the Abstract.

r/RFC 3279/Algorithms and Identifiers for the Internet X.509 Public Key
Infrastructure Certificate and Certificate Revocation List (CRL) Profile,
RFC 3279.

> - TOC page 2: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

Fixed.

> - 1 page 2: I propose to add "RFC 3279" before the first [PKI-ALG]

Fixed.

>  wording can be improved if the word "used" is not used twice?

Replaced text with: This value is also included in certificates when a
public key is used with ECDSA.

>  the field, not the field name so is not a "place"

r/place/field

> - 3 page 7: at the first occurrence: CA -> Certification 

Fixed.

> - 3 page 8: at	the first occurrence: EE -> End Entity (EE)

Fixed.

>  whole sentence is referenced by [X9.62].

r/the MOV/the Menezes-Okamoto-Vanstone (MOV) condition [X9.62]

> - 4 page 10: IMHO it is not really necessary to add references for MD2

The WG specifically wanted this text in there so.

> - 6 page 11: in NIST's arc -> in the NIST arc

Fixed.

> - 7 page 11: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

Fixed.

>  Standards for Efficient Cryptography Group (SECG)

Fixed.

>PS: I don't comment about the technical details (I believe a 
>consensus was reached even this took a long time and many 
>messages :-) and I assume the ASN.1 part was (or will soon be) 
>checked with dedicated tools.

I did run the ASN.1 though a compiler and I got no errors.