Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-mpls-p2mp-te-mib-08.txt (full)

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:09:32 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive. 

Document: draft-ietf-mpls-p2mp-te-mib-08.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2009-04-16
IETF LC End Date: 2009-04-17
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments: 
 - Abstract: add '(MIB)' as it is done in the introduction

 - Abstract: if you need to enforce the do-not-cite-rfc in the Abstract
  put reference to RFC 3812 and 4802 into parenthesis?

 - 4 page 5: remove spurious line break between:
   objects and tables some of which extend tables in MPLS-TE-STD-MIB

   [RFC3812]. [RFC4461] and [RFC4875] are clear that they apply to

 - 4.2 page 6: additional features or different behavior is required
   -> are required

 - 4.2.1 page 8 (title): Compatiblity -> Compatibility

 - 4.2.1 page 9: sematics -> semantics

 - 4.2.2 page 10 (title): Compatiblity -> Compatibility

 - 4.7 page 12: diagramatic -> diagrammatic

 - 5.2 page 20 (multiple): SeesionAttribute -> SessionAttribute

 - 5.2 page 24: thre -> there

 - mplsTeP2mpTunnelRowStatus page 26: mplsTunneltable -> mplsTunnelTable

 - mplsTeP2mpTunnelDestOperStatus page 47: aply -> apply and
  destinaton -> destination

 - mplsTeP2mpTunnelDestUp page 51: mplsTeP2mpTunneldestOperStatus ->
  mplsTeP2mpTunnelDestOperStatus

 - Module Conformance Statement page 52: remove spurious line break
  between:
            for MPLS-TE-P2MP-STD-MIB. Such devices can be monitored and

            also be configured using this MIB module.

 - 8 page 56: please extend the VACM and USM abbrevs.

 - 8 page 57: IPSec -> IPsec
  (BTW if the common way to deploy IPsec is to use it for infrastructure
   protection, IPsec can also be used with a finer grain for application
   protection, i.e., transport mode vs. tunnel mode)

 - 12 page 60: please add the country in Thomas' address.

Regards

[email-masked]

PS: experience has shown spelling errors in MIB ids can't be fixed
(because of backward compatibility). IMHO we should have a specific
tool to help this spelling check. I sorted the output of a spell
checker so I got some (fortunately in comments)...

---

From: "Adrian Farrel" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:25:57 +0100

Thanks Francis,

I'll catch these with an update after IETF last call completes

Adrian
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Francis Dupont" <[email-masked]>
To: <[email-masked]>
Cc: <[email-masked]>; <[email-masked]>; <[email-masked]>; 
<[email-masked]>
Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 1:09 PM
Subject: review of draft-ietf-mpls-p2mp-te-mib-08.txt (full)

---

From: "Thomas D. Nadeau" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 17 Apr 2009 08:33:05 -0400

Thanks for the review. Given that all of the comments are
nits/editorial, we will get to these once all of the LC comments have been
received.

    --Tom

-- 
Principal Architect - 21CN Networks