Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-sipping-cc-framework-11.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2009 00:06:13 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive. 

Document: draft-ietf-sipping-cc-framework-11.txt 
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2009-06-09
IETF LC End Date: 2009-06-09
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments: 
 - in Abstract page 2: SIP -> Session Initiation Protocol (SIP)

 - ToC page 3: Far fork -> Far-fork (or Near-fork -> Near fork but
  fixing the far branch seems better)

 - Toc page 4: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments
  (IETF/RFC Editor spelling)

 - 2.3 page 10: the UA abbrev should be introduced (and IMHO far before)

 - 2.4.2.1 page 12: large- scale -> large-scale

 - 2.6.7.2 page 17: the IVR abbrev must be introduced

 - 3.3.2 page 26: from controller) -> from controller):

 - 3.3.2 page 26: i.e. -> i.e.,
  (same for other i.e. and e.g.)

 - 3.3.5 page 28: a central mixer) -> a central mixer).

 - 3.3.8 page 29 (title): Far fork -> Far-fork

 - 3.2.8 page 30: forked-media -> forked media ?

 - 4 page 30: The class ... include -> includes ?

 - 6.31 page 39: (ex: -> (e.g.,

 - 7 page 39 (title): Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

Regards

[email-masked]

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From: Cullen Jennings <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:37:00 -0600

Thanks - I put your Nits in the comments so the RFC Editor will get  
them.