Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-iana-rfc3330bis-07.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:06:34 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive. 

Document: draft-iana-rfc3330bis-07.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2009-07-06
IETF LC End Date: 2009-07-22
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments: 
 I have still (cf review of the 06 version) two concerns about the Abstract:
  - the first sentence "This document obsoletes RFC 3330." belongs to
   the document meta-data and should be removed before publication
 - the last sentence has an explicit reference to an RFC. It should be
  repeated in the introduction or perhaps moved to the introduction.
Note the RFC Editor is in charge of the style of Abstract so these points
should be discussed with him/her.

Regards

[email-masked]

---

From: Russ Housley <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:18:29 -0400

>    the document meta-data and should be removed before publication

Many documents indicate this information in 3 places:
- title page header
- abstract
- introduction

>   repeated in the introduction or perhaps moved to the introduction.

Abstract should only name the RFC, not include a reference.

>should be discussed with him/her.

I agree that the RFC Editor can easily resolve these concerns.

Russ