Subject: [Gen-art] GEN-ART review of draft-ietf-pwe3-segmented-pw-13.txt

From: Sean Turner <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 31 Aug 2009 13:10:44 -0400

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer
for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). Please resolve
these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-pwe3-segmented-pw-13.txt
Reviewer: Sean Turner
Review Date: 2009-08-31
IETF LC End Date: 2009-09-02
IESG Telechat date: N/A

Summary: This draft is basically ready for  publication, but has nits 
that should be fixed before publication.

Nits:

http://www.ietf.org/id-info/checklist.html indicates that should not be 
more than 5 authors.  There's 7 on this one.

Normally, the introduction is section #1.  I'd suggest making Section 3 
Section 1 and Section 1 Section 3.

Sec 7.4.1: Indicates the PW Switching Point description string is 80 
characters long.  Shouldn't it say more about what the character set is?

Sec 8.4.1: Figure shows both AC "Up" and AC "UP".  Should they all be "Up"?

Sec 16: r/Author's/Authors'

According to the nits checker:

   == Outdated reference: A later version (-11) exists of
      draft-ietf-pwe3-oam-msg-map-10

   == Outdated reference: A later version (-07) exists of
      draft-ietf-pwe3-ms-pw-arch-06

There are a couple of places where " , " appears and should be changed 
to ", "