Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-hokey-key-mgm-08.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 03 Aug 2009 11:07:41 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive. 

Document: draft-ietf-hokey-key-mgm-08.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2009-07-30
IETF LC End Date: 2009-08-03
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues:
 I understand this specification is very abstract about on wire entities
(for instance there is nothing about encoding, etc) but this can become
an issue about key labels, i.e., the reader has to read the (referenced)
RFC 5295 if (s)he wants to know what are exactly these key labels
(note the term "label" can denote many different things).
I suggest to be lightly more reader friendly, for instance by writing
the RFC 5295 establishes a IANA registry for "USRK Key Labels" too:
for the specification of key labels -> ... and associated IANA registry.

Nits/editorial comments:
 [Usual RFC Editor style stuff]

 - ToC page 3 and 8 page 11: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

 - 1 page 4 and 6.1 page 10: e.g. -> e.g.,

 - 1 page 4, 2 page 5, 4 page 7 and 6.1 page 10: i.e. -> i.e.,

 - 6.2 pages 10 and 11: (suggestion) a RK -> an RK 

 - I give up about: handover -> hand-over

 - 4 page 7 and 4.2 page 9: (suggestion) roundtrip -> round-trip

Regards

[email-masked]

---

From: "Hoeper Katrin-QWKN37" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 7 Aug 2009 18:26:38 -0400

A new version addressing all issues raised during IESG last call has
been posted. In fact, only Francis had some minor comments.

http://www.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-hokey-key-mgm-09.txt

Best regards,
Katrin

> -----Original Message-----
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> Sent: Monday, August 03, 2009 4:08 AM
> To: [email-masked]
> Cc: Hoeper Katrin-QWKN37; [email-masked]; [email-masked]
> Subject: review of draft-ietf-hokey-key-mgm-08.txt
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