Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-art review of draft-ietf-mmusic-rfc3388bis-03.txt

From: Elwyn Davies <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:05:33 +0100

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
_http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html_).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

[Apologies fhe late review. I missed the assignment while I was away on 
holiday.]

Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-rfc3388bis-03.txt
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 17 October 2009
IETF LC End Date: 14 October 2009
IESG Telechat date: (if known) -

Summary: Almost ready.  Couple of minor nits only. 

Major issues: 0

Minor issues: 2
ss4 and 5:  Technically the BNF in these sections is ABNF (since it adds 
to that in RFC 4566). It should therefore be described as such and refer 
to RFC 4234.

s9.4.2, last para:  How does the offerer know that the grouping is the 
cause of the error message? (This comment may be due to my lack of 
understanding of the minutiae of SDP).

Nits/editorial comments:

s7, para 2:  The use of 'wall clock' is jargon.  Something like 'into a 
local absolute time value' (there is probably a better way of putting 
this) would be better.

s9.1.1, next to last para: s/lines contained/line contained/

s9.3, para 1: s/every semantics/every semantic/

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