Subject: [Gen-art] re-review of draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-11.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:25:58 +0000

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) 
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments 
you may receive. 

Document: draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-11.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2010/01/20
IESG Telechat date: 2010/01/21

Summary: Ready

The version 09 was reviewed with Ready summary, this is about version 11.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments (from previous review):
 - Abstract page 2: Extensible Authentication Protocol -> ... (EAP)
  What I meant is:
    Extensible Authentication Protocol -> Extensible Authentication
      Protocol (EAP)
  Not: Extensible Authentication Protocol -> EAP

 - 3.3.1 page 8: two forms:. ... -> two forms: horizontal and vertical.
  (or: Horizontal and Vertical.)

 - 13.2 pages 19 and 20: some spurious spaces before commas.
 - 13.2 page 19: bad cut in URLs (<\nhttp or <htt\np...)
  You still have some formating problems in references (please
  signal them to the RFC Editor who'll fix them)

Regards

[email-masked]

---

From: "Glen Zorn" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 23 Jan 2010 10:49:28 +0700

>   Not: Extensible Authentication Protocol -> EAP

OK.

>   (or: Horizontal and Vertical.)

OK.

>  - 13.2 pages 19 and 20: some spurious spaces before commas.

OK.

>  - 13.2 page 19: bad cut in URLs (<\nhttp or <htt\np...)

I can't se any URLs on p. 19, let alone poorly formatted ones ;-).  Would
you mind quoting a couple of examples, please?

>   signal them to the RFC Editor who'll fix them)

I think that they are all fixed in
http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-hokey-preauth-ps-12.txt,
please take a look.