Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-giralt-schac-ns-02

From: Sean Turner <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:31:44 -0500

Sorry if anyone got this multiple times, but my first attempt didn't 
seem to make it to the list.

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer 
for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see 
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html). Please resolve 
these comments along with any other Last Call comments you may receive.

Document: draft-giralt-schac-ns-02
Reviewer: Sean Turner
Review Date: 2010-01-03
IETF LC End Date: 2010-01-01*
IESG Telechat date: unknown

* I apologize for missing the LC end date.

Summary: This draft is on the right track but has open issues, described 
in the review.

Issue:

Is there some reason why this ID doesn't have an internationalization 
considerations section?  I would think people outside North American 
might like some characters other than ASCII.

Section 2 Identifier assignment: The text indicates that TERENA will 
define processes to for adding to the list of authorities.  Has this 
process be written yet?  If it has, can a reference be added to it?  If 
not, shouldn't this ID wait for the completion of these processes?  And, 
shouldn't this process be included in the relevant ancillary 
documentation section of the template?

Section 5: Indicates TERENA will set up a registration service.  If 
there's some rules for using this registration service, then it might be 
nice to have them referred to in the relevant ancillary documentation 
section of the template.

Technical:

Section 2 Identifier persistence: Should "responsibility may be" be 
"responsibility MAY be".

Editorial:

Section 1: Spell out TF-EMC2 the first time it is used.

Section 1: r/Trans European Research and Education Network 
Association/Trans-European Research and Education Network Association 
(TERENA)

note the "-" that the terena.org website uses.

Section 4: Spell out MACE.

Section 5: r/National Research and Education Networks/National Research 
and Education Networks (NRENs)

Section 8.2: [4] Should a reference to the terena.org website be 
included as part of the reference (assuming it's stable)?

Section 8.2: [9] should it point to 
http://www.iana.org/domains/root/db/?  I assume this reference is stable!?

Again, sorry this was late.

spt