Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-krb-wg-preauth-framework-16

From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 08 Apr 2010 09:15:24 -0500

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-krb-wg-preauth-framework-16
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: April 8, 2010
IESG Telechat date: April 8, 2010

Summary: This draft is ready for publication as a Proposed Standard.

It has 0 major issues, 0 minor issues and 2 nits.

1) In the Abstract and Section 1, you may want to consider expanding
  the first occurrence of KDC.
2) In Section 1, when I first read "padata" I assumed it was a typo-
  graphical error.  However, that is not the case since "padata" is
  defined on the next page in Section 2.  My suggestion would be to
  simply advise the reader what "padata" is on first occurrence;
  something like the following:

  OLD (Section 1, 3rd paragraph):
  ... tunneling (FAST) padata type ...

  NEW
  ... tunneling (FAST) pre-authentication data (padata) type ...

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60566 (USA)
Email: vkg@{alcatel-lucent.com,bell-labs.com,acm.org}
Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/