Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART LC Review of draft-hethmon-mcmurray-ftp-hosts-11

From: "McCann Peter-A001034" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 10 May 2010 14:23:41 -0400

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer
for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-hethmon-mcmurray-ftp-hosts-11
Reviewer: Pete McCann
Review Date: 2010-05-10
IETF LC End Date: 2010-05-10
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: none

Minor issues:

Section 3.1:
   the server-PI should respond with
   a 501 reply if the client sends a HOST command with syntax like
   "HOST 192.0.2.1:2112" or "HOST [FE80::c000:0201]:2112".
Do you want to capitalize SHOULD or change to a MUST?

Section 3.3:
here again, lots of lower-case "should".  Capitalize?

Nits/editorial comments:

Section 2.0:
   document, those
SHOULD BE:
   document; those

Section 3.0:
   as a though
SHOULD BE:
   as though

   authentication, and then
SHOULD BE:
   authentication and then

Section 3.2.1:
   to that it was
SHOULD BE:
   to what it was

Section 3.2.2:
   In this scenario, the user-PI sends a HOST command
   which the server-PI uses to route activity to the correct virtual
   host, the user-PI sends credentials using the USER and PASS commands
   which the server-PI validates, then the user-PI sends an ACCT
   command to specify any additional account information for the
   server-PI implementation.
SHOULD BE:
   In this scenario, the user-PI sends a HOST command
   which the server-PI uses to route activity to the correct virtual
   host; the user-PI sends credentials using the USER and PASS commands
   which the server-PI validates; then, the user-PI sends an ACCT
   command to specify any additional account information for the
   server-PI implementation.

   In
   this scenario, the user-PI sends a HOST command which the server-PI
   uses to route activity to the correct virtual host, then the user-PI
   uses the AUTH and ADAT commands to negotiate the security mechanism
   and certificate with the server-PI, then the user-PI sends user
   credentials using the USER and PASS commands which the server-PI
   validates.  After which the user-PI may send an ACCT command to
   specify any additional account information for the server-PI
SHOULD BE:
   In
   this scenario, the user-PI sends a HOST command which the server-PI
   uses to route activity to the correct virtual host; the user-PI
   uses the AUTH and ADAT commands to negotiate the security mechanism
   and certificate with the server-PI; then, the user-PI sends user
   credentials using the USER and PASS commands which the server-PI
   validates.  After that, the user-PI may send an ACCT command to
   specify any additional account information for the server-PI

Section 3.2.3:
Make sure the figures don't have page breaks in them (maybe the RFC
editor will take care of this).  Also, do you want to add captions?

---

From: Robert McMurray <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 10 May 2010 21:21:56 +0000

Thanks, Pete.

I'm working on that right now.

-----Original Message-----
From: McCann Peter-A001034 [mailto:[email-masked]] 
Sent: Monday, May 10, 2010 11:24 AM
To: [email-masked]; [email-masked]
Subject: Gen-ART LC Review of draft-hethmon-mcmurray-ftp-hosts-11

Summary: Ready

Major issues: none

Minor issues:

Section 3.1:

Section 3.3:

Nits/editorial comments:

Section 2.0:
   document, those
SHOULD BE:
   document; those

Section 3.0:
   as a though
SHOULD BE:
   as though

   authentication, and then
SHOULD BE:
   authentication and then

Section 3.2.1:
   to that it was
SHOULD BE:
   to what it was

Section 3.2.2:

   In

Section 3.2.3: