Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-bmwg-protection-term-08

From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 13 May 2010 13:46:59 -0500

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-bmwg-protection-term-08
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: May 13, 2010
IESG Telechat date: Not known.

Summary: This draft is ready for publication as an Informational.

It has 0 major issues, 0 minor issues and 3 nits.

1) The formatting of the draft seems to be off.  The name
  of one of the authors (Karthik) appears to float off on the
  right hand side of the screen (or paper), well outside the
  pagination bounds.

2) At many places in the draft, there are clusters of "See
  Also" references.  These references typically refer to other
  sub-sections of the same draft.  You may want to consider
  providing a sub-section (or section) number to make it
  easier on the reader to cross reference.  It is much easier
  to find Section 3.4.6 that talks about "Primary Node" than
  it is to visually find a sub-section titled "Primary Node".

  This should be fairly easy to do using xml2rfc's cross-
  reference elements.

3) In S3.6.1 there are two equations:

          (Equation 2a)
           TBLM Failover Time = Time(Failover) - Time(Failover Event)

           (Equation 2b)
           TBLM Reversion Time = Time(Reversion) - Time(Restoration)

  The functional notation for Time(x) probably implies the time that 'x'
  occurred.  Or does it mean the time it takes to for 'x' to occur?  I
  cannot tell.  May be better to explain a bit more.

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60566 (USA)
Email: vkg@{alcatel-lucent.com,bell-labs.com,acm.org}
Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/