Subject: [Gen-art] draft-ietf-geopriv-arch-02.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:56:06 +0200

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-geopriv-arch-02.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 2010-07-19
IETF LC End Date: 2010-07-23
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready with one nit

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments:
 - you have 6 authors (maximum is 5, I'd like to get the power to make
  an exception in this case :-), i.e., align with Alice's box

 - ToC page 2 and 7 page 36: Acknowledgements -> Acknowledgments

 - 1.3 page 6: my spell checker doesn't like 'siloed'?

 - 2.1 page 9 figure 1: IMHO you should shift one space right the WLS box
  (including the label, Wireless Location Service)

 - 2.2 page 10: Recpients -> Recipients

 - 3.1.1 page 15: alamanac -> almanac

 - 3.2.1 page 17 and many other places: you write an LR but a LO.
  I believe it is because you base the spelling on 'el-a' for LR and
  'lo' (in place of 'el-o') for LO. At least the choice seems consistent
  (but I'd like to understand)

 - 3.2.4 page 22: trused -> trusted

 - 4 page 24: the LO need -> needs

 - 4 page 26: entites -> entities and undesireable -> undesirable

 - 4 page 26: confidentility -> confidentiality

 - 5.2 page 29: my spelling checker doesn't like 'untrusting'?

 - 6 page 34 (LO): latitiude -> latitude

 - Addresses page 39: US -> USA

Regards

[email-masked]