Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART telechat review of draft-ietf-tcpm-tcp-lcd-02

From: Enrico Marocco <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:21:36 +0200

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART)
reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see
http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html).

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd
or AD before posting a new version of the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-tcpm-tcp-lcd-02
Reviewer: Enrico Marocco
Review Date: 2010-08-25
IESG Telechat date: 2010-08-26

Summary: Ready, with nits.

Major issues: none.

Minor issues: none.

Nits:

The term "TCP" is often used as an abbreviation for "TCP sender", "TCP
stack" or "TCP implementation" (e.g. in S. 4.2. "Algorithm Details",
paragraph 3: "a TCP implements", paragraph 6: "a TCP in steady-state",
paragraph 7: "a TCP may implement", paragraph 8: "a TCP will proceed",
S. 5.6. "Reaction in Steady-State", paragraph 1: "the originating TCP",
paragraph 2: "a TCP has no means", S. 7.1. "Detection of TCP Connection
Failures", paragraph 2: "a TCP employing", S. 10. "Security
Considerations", paragraph 1: "a TCP modified with"). It may just be a
convention I'm not used to, but it sounds quite weird to me.

S. 5. "Discussion of TCP-LCD", paragraph 2: s/a the sequence/the sequence/

S. 5.6.. "Reaction in Steady-State", paragraph 2: the first sentence is
too long and does not read well. I'd suggest to split it.

---

From: Lars Eggert <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:03:19 +0300

Hi, authors,

please check if there are any changes you want to incorporate into the document.

Lars

---

From: Arnd Hannemann <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 27 Aug 2010 14:34:18 +0200

Hi,

> Summary: Ready, with nits.

Thank you very much for your review.

> convention I'm not used to, but it sounds quite weird to me.

I think this is somewhat a convention found in many TCP RFCs,
so we probably won't change that, unless someone feels strongly
about this?

> too long and does not read well. I'd suggest to split it.
Thanks, we will incorporate these into the document.

Regards,
Arnd Hannemann

-- 
Dipl.-Inform. Arnd Hannemann
RWTH Aachen University
Dept. of Computer Science, Informatik 4
Ahornstr. 55, D-52074 Aachen, Germany
Phone: (+49 241) 80-21423 Fax: (+49 241) 80-22221