Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-avtext-rams-scenarios-04

From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2012 14:00:36 -0500

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-avtext-rams-scenarios-04
Reviewer: Vijay K. Gurbani
Review Date: Apr-27-2012
IETF LC End Date: Not known
IESG Telechat date: May-10-2012

Summary: This draft is ready as an Informational.

Major issues: 0
Minor issues: 0
Nits/editorial comments: 5

Nits/editorials:

- S1: For readability, I would suggest the following change:

   OLD:
   ... In scenarios where multiple RAMS sessions, each initiated
    with an individual RAMS Request message to a different feedback
    target, will be simultaneously run by an RTP receiver, they need to
    be coordinated.

    NEW:
    ... Close coordination is required for multiple RAMS sessions
    simultaneously started by an RTP server, where each session
    is initiated with an individual RAMS Request message to a different
    feedback target.

- S2, second line: the use of the word "somewhow" just seems
  wishy-washy here.  Instead, I think it is better to say "... that
  are in some manner associated with each other."

- S3.1: Instead of saying "We run ..." and "we want to ..." better
  to say that "An individual RAMS sesson is run for each of the RTP
  streams that requires rapid acquisition."

- S3.4, same problem: instead of saying "we have only one RTP
  stream..." better to say "there is only one RTP stream ..."

- S6: Probably better to say that there are no new security attacks
  made possible by the this draft, however, security considerations of
  RFC6285 still apply.  Or something to that effect.

Thanks!	

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60563 (USA)
Email: vkg@{bell-labs.com,acm.org} / [email-masked]
Web:   http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/