Subject: [Gen-art] Gen-ART Review of draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g709-framework-14

From: Russ Housley <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 23 Aug 2013 22:49:53 -0400

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g709-framework-14
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2013-08-23
IETF LC End Date: 2013-09-02
IESG Telechat date: Unknown

Summary:  The document is almost ready for publication as a
informational RFC.  I raise minor concerns that should be resolved
before IESG evaluation.

Minor Concerns:  

In section 3, there is a discussion that includes ODU0, ODU2e, and ODU4,
but these terms are not defined in the paragraph or in the terminology
section.  I realize that these are ODUj values, but ODUflex is an ODUj,
and it is included in the terminology section.

In section 3.1, OCh needs to be defined or at least expanded.

In section3.1.2.1, please expand MSI on first use.

Editorial:

In section 8: s/not requests/no requests/

---

From: "Adrian Farrel" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 24 Aug 2013 08:38:34 +0100

Thanks Russ!

> and it is included in the terminology section.

 I think these are covered in the Terminology section in the two paragraphs 

   LO ODU: Lower Order ODU. The LO ODUj (j can be 0, 1, 2, 2e, 3, 4,
   flex.) represents the container transporting a client of the OTN that
   is either directly mapped into an OTUk (k = j) or multiplexed into a
   server HO ODUk (k > j) container.

   HO ODU: Higher Order ODU. The HO ODUk (k can be 1, 2, 2e, 3, 4.)
   represents the entity transporting a multiplex of LO ODUj tributary
   signals in its OPUk area.

For ease of searching, I suppose this could read

OLD
(j can be 0, 1, 2, 2e, 3, 4, flex.)
NEW
(j can be 0, 1, 2, 2e, 3, 4, flex yielding ODU0, ODU1, ODU2e, ODU3, ODU4, and
ODUflex)
END

Seems a bit excessive, but if it would help the reader.

> In section 3.1, OCh needs to be defined or at least expanded.

OCh is found in the last paragraph of Section 1

   For the purposes of the control plane the OTN can be considered as
   being comprised of ODU and wavelength (Optical Channel (OCh)) layers.
   This document focuses on the control of the ODU layer, with control
   of the wavelength layer considered out of the scope. Please refer to
   [RFC6163] for further information about the wavelength layer.

> In section3.1.2.1, please expand MSI on first use.

MSI is in the terminology section 

   MSI: Multiplex Structure Identifier

> In section 8: s/not requests/no requests/

Yes.

Cheers,
Adrian