Subject: [Gen-art] PARTIAL Gen-Art review of draft-ietf-stir-rfc4474bis-15

From: "Vijay K.Gurbani" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 3 Nov 2016 09:56:55 -0500

All: This is a partial review of draft-ietf-stir-rfc4474bis-15 that I am
sending out in time for Gen-ART representation during the
teleconference.

No showstoppers so far, and I don't expect any.

I will send out the complete review today with the required template.

Apologies for the straddled review.

Thanks.

Minor:
- S3: "baseline SIP" ==> What do you mean by this?  (I know what you
  mean, of course, but others reading the document may not.)  Perhaps
  the following substitution is better?

  s/purposes of baseline SIP,/use of SIP as defined in [RFC 3261],/

Nits:

- S1: "However, the recipient of a SIP request has no way to verify
  that the From header field has been populated appropriately, in the
  absence of some sort of cryptographic authentication mechanism."
  Changing the order of the dependent clauses may lead to better
  readability.  That is,
  "However, in the absence of some sort of cryptographic authentication
  mechanism, the recipient of a SIP request has no way to verify that
  the From header field has been populated appropriately."

- S1: You may want to define what "swatting" is for those not well-
  versed in ART terminology.

- S1: "less spoofable" ... Merriam-Webster does not define "spoofable"
  as a word (online version).  Perhaps better to say "less amenable to
  spoofing" instead.  Something as the following suggested text:
  "Ideally, a cryptographic approach to identity can provide a much
  stronger assurance of identity than the Caller ID service used
  by the public-switched telephone network today.  Such an approach
  would also be less amenable to identity spoofing."

- S3: s/through means entirely up to the authentication service,/through
   per-arranged means with the authentication service,/

- S3: s/credentials that will be trusted by relying parties to sign for
  telephone numbers are a key component of the architecture./credentials
  that will be trusted by relying parties to be authoritative for
  telephone numbers become a key component of the architecture./

- S3: s/not so easy to/not as easy to/

- S3: s/ but this document does not mandate or specify a credential
  system.  [I-D.ietf-stir-certificates] describes a credential system
  compatible with this architecture./ but this document does not mandate
  or specify a particular credential system;
  [I-D.ietf-stir-certificates] describes one credential system compatible
  with this architecture."

- S3 s/This is typically easier to deal with, as these identities are
  issued to users by authorities over Internet domains./This is
  typically easier to deal with as these identities are issued by
  organizations that have authority over Internet domains./

- S3: s/can issue them an identity/issues an identity/

- S3: s/prove in some fashion/proves/

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Nokia Networks
1960 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9C-533, Naperville, Illinois 60563 (USA)
Email: [email-masked] / [email-masked]
Web: http://ect.bell-labs.com/who/vkg/  | Calendar: http://goo.gl/x3Ogq