Subject: [Gen-art] review of draft-ietf-trill-directory-assist-mechanisms-10.txt

From: Francis Dupont <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 09 Jan 2017 15:05:37 +0100

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-trill-directory-assist-mechanisms-10.txt
Reviewer: Francis Dupont
Review Date: 20170105
IETF LC End Date: 2017019
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Ready

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None

Nits/editorial comments: 
 - 1.1 page 5: nomrally -> normally

 - 1.2 page 6: MscSA -> MacSA

 - 2.3.2 page 11: cancelled -> canceled

 - 3.1 page 19: acknowledgement -> acknowledgment

 - 3.2.1 page 21: AFN is from an unknown space: please add
  a reference to where AFN is defined or to its registry (or both).

 - 3.2.2.2 page 26 MacDA: in "this MAC address must be unicast"
  as it is a requirement consider to put a MUST or to change to "has to"

 - 3.3 page 27: in "A Pull Directory server may have a limit" use
  a MAY?

 - 3.3 page 28: you use the F, P, N, etc bits when their meanings are
  in 3.3.1 so:
  * please add a forward reference to 3.3.1
  * add their names (flood, positive, negative) at first use

 - 3.3.1 page 30: in "Message must have either" must -> MUST/has to

 - 3.3.2 page 31: appropiately -> appropriately

 - 3.5.1 page 33: knowns -> knows

 - 3.5.3 page 34: Chanel -> Channel

 - 3.6 page 35 (twice): [Aa]cknowledgement -> [Aa]cknowledgment

 - 3.6.3 page 37: QTYPE 3 and 4 are unassigned

 - 3.7 page 37: chagnes -> changes

 - 7.1 page 45: only use of "IANA will assign" vs
  "IANA is requested to assign". BTW look for what is the best and
  use only  this one.

 - 7.1 page 45: ESDADI -> ESADI and ESDAI -> ESADI

 - 7.1 page 45: in the figure break the line between "for" and "expansion".
  BTW it doesn't matter if a varaible field spreads over more than one
 line...

 - Authors' Addresses page 52: (perhaps a troff macro issue):
  please insert a comma befor the country name.

 - Authors' Addresses page 52: China -> PR China (or any variant
  including CN (ISO IS 3166 2 letter code))

Regards

[email-masked]

PS: I know some of you are from a country (from a list of 2) not using
international units but millisecond abbrev is ms, not millisec...

---

From: Donald Eastlake <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 11 Jan 2017 22:09:20 -0500

Hi Francis,

See below.

> IESG Telechat date: unknown

Thanks. I agree with all the below unless otherwise stated.

>   a reference to where AFN is defined or to its registry (or both).

I'll add this to the Terminology section.

>  - 3.3 page 27: in "A Pull Directory server may have a limit" use

"MAY" is wrong. I'll change it to "might".

>   BTW it doesn't matter if a variable field spreads over more than one
>  line...
>
>   please insert a comma before the country name.

OK.

>   including CN (ISO IS 3166 2 letter code))

I don't see any reason to change this postal address which i have
determined by experiment to work fine, at least for mail posted in the
USA.

> international units but millisecond abbrev is ms, not millisec...

I'll just spell it out.

Thanks,
Donald
===============================
 Donald E. Eastlake 3rd   +1-508-333-2270 (cell)
 155 Beaver Street, Milford, MA 01757 USA
 [email-masked]

---

From: Jari Arkko <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 18 Jan 2017 23:02:09 +0200

Thanks for the review, Francis, and thanks for considering the input, Donald.

I’ve placed a no-obj vote for this document on tomorrow’s IESG call.

Jari