Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-detnet-data-plane-framework-04

From: Christer Holmberg via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 15 Mar 2020 03:28:35 -0700

Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-detnet-data-plane-framework-04
Reviewer: Christer Holmberg
Review Date: 2020-03-15
IETF LC End Date: 2020-03-13
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary: The document is well written, and almost ready for publication. I have
no issues on the technical parts, but I have found some editorial nits in the
Introduction- and Security Considerations sections that I ask the authors to
address.

Major issues: N/A

Minor issues: N/A

Nits/editorial comments:

Q1:

The first line of the Introduction says:

“DetNet (Deterministic Networking) provides a capability…”

Please add a reference to DetNet/RFC8655 on first occurance.

Q2:

The first line of the 2nd paragraph of the Introduction says:

“This document describes the concepts needed by any DetNet data plane
specification…”

What is meant by DetNet data plane specification? The definition of DetNet
flows over a specific network technology? Please clarify, or reference if
already defined elsewhere.

Q3:

The 5th paragraph of the Introduction (“DetNet flows may be carried over
network…”) contains text about network topologies that can be used for DetNet
flows.

Is the text (all, or part of it) in the paragraph somehow specific to this
document, or is it simply repeating things that are defined in RFC 8655? If the
paragraph is only repeating stuff, maybe start with “As defined in RFC8655,
DetNet flows may be carried…”.

Q4:

The 6th paragraph of the Introduction says:

“Different application flows (e.g., Ethernet, IP, etc.)…”

The text may it look like the Ethernet, IP etc is the actual application flow.
I assume you mean application flow carried over Ethernet, IP, etc? If so,
please modify to make it more clear.

Q5:

The Security considerations say:

“Security considerations for DetNet are described in detail in
[I-D.ietf-detnet-security].  General security considerations are
described in [RFC8655].”

The sentence is confusing. General security considerations for what? Doesn’t
RFC 8655 also describe security considerations for DetNet?