Subject: [Gen-art] Genart last call review of draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-12

From: Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 08 Apr 2022 17:18:24 -0700

Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review result: Ready with Nits

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Document: draft-ietf-tls-subcerts-??
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2022-04-08
IETF LC End Date: 2022-04-08
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat

Summary:
Ready with nits.    Just a few editrial level nits.

Major issues:
None

Minor issues:
None.

Nits/editorial comments:
Abstract: The exact form of the abbreviation (D)TLS is not in the set of
well-known abbreviations.  I assume it is supposed to mean DTLS or TLS - This
ought to be expanded on first use.

Abstract:  s/mechanism to to/mechanism to/

s1, para 2: CA is used before its expansion in para 3.

s1, next to last para: "this document proposes"  Hopefully when it becomes an
RFC it will do more than propose.  Suggest "this document introduces".

s1, next to last para:  "to speak for names"  sounds a bit anthropomorphic to
me, but I can't think of a simple alternative word.

s1, last para: s/We will refer/This document refers/  [Not an academic paper!]

s3.1, 2nd bullet: s/provide are not necessary/provide is not necessary/

s4, definition of expected_cert_verify_algorithm:  " Only signature algorithms
allowed for use in CertificateVerify message are allowed."  Does this need a
reference to the place where the list of such algorithms is recorded?

s4.1.1 and s4.1.2:  In s4.1.1:  "the client SHOULD ignore delegated credentials
sent as extensions to any other certificate."  I would have though this ought
to be a MUST.  There is an equivalent in s4.1.2. I am not sure what the
client/server might do if it doesn't ignore the DC.

s4.1.3, para 1: s/same way that is done/same way that it is done/

s4.2, para 1: s/We define/This docuent defines/

sS/s5.1: RFC conventions prefer not to have sections empty of text:  Add
something like: "The following operational consideration should be taken into
consideration when using Delegated Certificates:"