Subject: [Iot-directorate] Iotdir early review of draft-ietf-opsawg-mud-iot-dns-considerations-02

From: Dave Thaler via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 06 Jan 2022 15:25:09 -0800

Reviewer: Dave Thaler
Review result: On the Right Track

My detailed comments and in-line text suggestions can be found in the PDF file
at
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/research/uploads/prod/2022/01/draft-ietf-opsawg-mud-iot-dns-considerations-02-DThalerReview.pdf

Some high level comments:
* While I think the document is on the right track and I agree it is good to do
this document, a number of the statements in the document are ones I disagree
with as phrased.  My belief is that the wording can be corrected and in many
instances I have proposed such changes in my reviewed copy. * Some of the
recommendations in the document are not sufficiently justified at present.  
They may still be the right recommendations, but it means that more work is
needed in the document to provide sufficient justification.  In my detailed
review I have called out a couple of counter examples which the document should
either address, or change the recommendations to accommodate, whatever the WG
can get consensus on. * A number of parts of the document still contain "todos"
(some marked with "XXX", some not), so will need another IoT-Directorate anyway
once it's complete. * The document needed an editorial English pass, which I
have done and provided a bunch of simple editorial suggestions in changed
tracked text. * There are several undefined terms in the document.  To broaden
readability since we want this to apply to IoT manufacturers with a wide
variety of backgrounds, technical expertise, and level of familiarity with the
English language, definitions or at least citations should be provided for such
terms unless they are removed.  I have called these out in the doc as well ("S3
bucket", "QuadX", "forced circuit proxy", etc.)