Subject: [ippm] Fwd: IPPM Multimetrics

From: "Joseph Kopena" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 8 Nov 2006 13:18:50 -0500

Hi folks,

The following are some typographical comments on the spatial &
multicast metrics draft [1].  I had sent them to Al Morton & he asked
that I post them here to be part of the public readership log for that
draft.

Thx

---------------------
# Pg. 7, "whished" should be "wished."
# Pg. 8, "emphasizes" should be "emphasized."
# Pg. 9, "methodoly" should be "methodology."
# Pg. 22, "Scr" should be "Src."
# Pg. 22, last paragraph, spaces should be added after/before set
deliminating left/right brackets. This is done throughout most of the
document, but not for some of the sets here.
# Pg. 23, there are several problems in the end of the last full paragraph:

__A very good example of the high relative performance requirement is
the   online gaming. A very light worse delay will result in failure
in the game. We have to use the new statistic metrics to define
exactly how small the relative delay the online gaming requires. There
are many other services, e.g. online biding, online stock market,
etc., need a rule to judge the relative performance requirement.
Therefore, we can see the importance of new statistic metrics to feed
this need.__

It's not very clear what "light worse delay" means exactly.  The
phrase "new statistic metrics" should perhaps be something more like
"multicast-specific relative metrics."  The phrase "need a rule to
judge the relative performance requirement." should perhaps be "that
require multicast metrics in order to evaluate the network against
their requirements."  The phrase "new statistic metrics" should
perhaps be "new, multicast specific, statistical metrics."

# Pg. 24, "intent" should be "intend."
# Pg. 25, "it is no need to specify" should be "there is no need to specify."
# Pg. 26, "performancesituation" is missing a space.
# Pg. 26, "much clear" should be "more clear."
# Pg. 26, "performanceof" is missing a space.
# Pg. 26, "Type-P-one-to-group- One-" has an extra space.
# Pg. 26, there are several problems in the end of the last full paragraph:

__Moreover, this is one of efforts to introducing the one-to- many
concern to the IPPM working group with respect to the fact that all
existing documents in the group are unicast oriented, which talk about
only one-to-one single "path" in measurements. __

It should perhaps read something such as:

__These metrics have been defined in order to introduce one-to-many
concerns to the IPPM working group, which has previously been focused
on unicast situations and only one-to-one single "path" measurements
and metrics have been defined to this point.__
---------------------

[1] http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ippm-multimetrics-02.txt

-- 
- joe kopena
  http://gicl.cs.drexel.edu/people/tjkopena/

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From: lei Liang <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 14 Nov 2006 11:55:36 +0000

Thanks you very much, Joseph. Language is always a headache for me. We
will polish the draft based on your comments.

Best regards,
Lei