Subject: [martini] gin #64 (new): Gen-Art review

From: "martini issue tracker" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 07 Nov 2010 08:33:36 -0000

#64: Gen-Art review

 I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on

 Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at

 <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

 Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments

 you may receive.

 Document: draft-ietf-martini-gin-10.txt

 Reviewer: Brian Carpenter

 Review Date: 2010-11-07

 IETF LC End Date: 2010-11-18

 IESG Telechat date:

 Summary: Almost ready

 --------

 Minor issue:

 ------------

 The acronym AOR is used 63 times in the draft without being defined,
 except by implication

 in the title of reference [18]. This, and the rather abrupt start to the
 Introduction,

 makes this a document that is quite hard to get into for an outsider. I
 know what "SIP"

 stands for, but it should be expanded in the Abstract, and I'd like to see
 at least one

 sentence of introduction to SIP before "One of SIP's primary functions
 is...".

 Similarly, in the Introduction:

    Although the use of REGISTER requests to update reachability

    information for multiple users simultaneously is somewhat beyond the

    original semantics defined for REGISTER requests, ...

 I deduce that REGISTER is a SIP message. But this isn't stated, and I'd
 have expected

 a reference to [4], where REGISTER is defined. Again, this is written as
 an insider

 document.

 Once we get past the Introduction the draft seems very thorough and clear,

 and I (not being a SIP expert) could detect no technical issues.

-- 
-----------------------------------------+----------------------------------
 Reporter:  brian.e.carpenter@…          |       Owner:            
     Type:  defect                       |      Status:  new       
 Priority:  minor                        |   Milestone:  milestone1
Component:  gin                          |     Version:  1.0       
 Severity:  Submitted WG Document        |    Keywords:            
-----------------------------------------+----------------------------------

Ticket URL: <http://trac.tools.ietf.org/wg/martini/trac/ticket/64>
martini <http://tools.ietf.org/martini/>

---

From: "martini issue tracker" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 07 Nov 2010 08:35:01 -0000

#64: Gen-Art review

Changes (by bernard_aboba@…):

  * owner:  => adam@…

 Reporter:  brian.e.carpenter@…          |       Owner:  adam@…          

Ticket URL: <http://trac.tools.ietf.org/wg/martini/trac/ticket/64#comment:1>
martini <http://tools.ietf.org/martini/>