Subject: [mpls-tp] AD review of draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni

From: Adrian Farrel <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 06 Dec 2010 12:31:32 +0000

Hi,

I have performed an AD review of your draft.

Don't panic!

I review all drafts that I am responsible for before putting them forward
for IETF last call. The main objective is to catch nits and minor issues
that would show up during the last call or in IESG review. The intention is
to help polish your document and make sure it is clean and shiny so that
other reviewers will stick to the technical details.

My comments are pretty trivial, but there are sufficient of them in a 
relatively short document that I'd like to see a quick respin before I
issue the IETF last call. Hopefully this won't take you more than a few
minutes. As soon as I see a new revision posted, I'll set the ball in
motion.

Of course, all of my issues are up for discussion.

Thanks for the work,
Adrian

===

Abstract                                                      
s/[RFC5921]/(RFC 5921)/
---
Abstract
s/ Network-to-Network interface/ Network-to-Network Interface/
---
Abstract
Expand "MPLS-TP" on first use. (MPLS is OK as an acronym)
---
Abstract
s/IETF onsensus/IETF consensus/
---
Table of Contents

You can remove the ToC from this short I-D.

---
Section 1
Expand "MPLS-TP" on first use. (MPLS is OK as an acronym)
---
Section 1
s/Network-to-Network interface/Network-to-Network Interface/
---
Section 1.1
Expand "PE" and "CE" on first use.
---

Section 1.1

   This document provides updated illustrations of the MPLS-TP UNI and
   MPLS-TP NNI to show these additional details.  These illustrations
   are intended to obsolete the corresponding ones in [RFC5921].  This
   document also defines additional terminology referenced in the
   illustrations.  No other updates are proposed by this document.

Too tentative!

Try...

   This document provides updated illustrations of the MPLS-TP UNI and
   MPLS-TP NNI to show these additional details.  These illustrations
   obsolete figures 3 and 5 in [RFC5921].  This document also defines
   additional terminology referenced in the illustrations.  No other
   updates are made by this document.

---

Section 2

s/User-Network interface/User-to-Network Interface/

---

Section 2

s/MPLS UNI/MPLS-TP UNI/

---

Figure 1

Is it the intention that the left hand extreme of the UNI-C function 
should also delimit the CE? Or should you show the top and bottom bars
of the CE box extending further to the left?

---

Figure 1

Remove the footnote "TSI = Transport Service Instance" as you have
put this in Section 1.2.

---

Figure 2

Remove the footnote "TSI = Transport Service Instance" as you have
put this in Section 1.2.

---
Section 5
s/RFC5921/[RFC5921]/
---
Section 7
Remove unused reference RFC 2119