Subject: [Pana] couple of comments for pana-pana-06

From: [email-masked]
Date: Wed, 3 Nov 2004 15:36:58 +0200

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2. Terminology

"   PANA Client (PaC):"
Change from:

      "The client side of the protocol that resides in the host
      device.  It is responsible for providing the credentials in
      order to prove its identity for network access authorization."

To:

      "The client side of the protocol that resides in the host
      device.  It is responsible for providing the credentials in
      order to prove its identity __(authentication)__ for network
      access authorization."

"   PANA Security Association (PANA SA):"
Change from:
      
      "A PANA security association is a relationship between the PaC
      and PAA, formed by the sharing of cryptographic keying material
      and associated context.  Security associations are duplex.  That
      is, one security association is needed to protect the
      bidirectional traffic between the PaC and the PAA."

To:

      "A PANA security association is __formed between the PaC and the
      PAA by sharing cryptographic keying material and associated
      context.  The formed duplex security association is used to
      protect the bidirectional traffic between the PaC and the
      PAA.__"

"   Device Identifier (DI):"
Change from:

      "The identifier used by the network as a handle to control and
      police the network access of a client.  Depending on the
      access..."

To:

      "The identifier used by the network as a handle to control and
      police the network access of a __device__.  Depending on the
      access..."

"   Enforcement Point (EP):"
Change from:

      "A node on the access network where per-packet enforcement policies
      (i.e., filters) are applied on the inbound and outbound traffic of
      client devices.  Information such as the DI and (optionally)
      cryptographic keys are provided by the PAA per client for
      generating filters on the EP."

To:

      "A node on the access network where per-packet enforcement
      policies (i.e., filters) are applied on the inbound and outbound
      traffic of __access__ devices.  Information such as the DI and
      (optionally) cryptographic keys are provided by the PAA per
      device for generating filters on the EP."

"   AAA-Key:"
Change from:

      "A key derived by the EAP peer and EAP server and transported to
      the authenticator [I-D.ietf-eap-keying]."

To:

      "A key derived by the EAP peer and EAP server and transported to
      the authenticator [I-D.ietf-eap-keying]. __In this document PaC is
      assumed to be an EAP peer and PAA the authenticator or the EAP
      server.__"

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3. Protocol overview

- What is an EAP session? It is not explicitly specified anywhere.

Change from:

   "-- carry zero or more AVPs as payload.  The main payload of PANA is EAP
   which performs authentication.  PANA helps PaC and PAA establish an
   EAP session."

To: 

   "-- carry zero or more AVPs as payload.  The main payload of PANA
   is EAP which __carries authentication__ information.  PANA helps
   PaC and PAA __to__ establish an EAP session."

Change from:

   "o  Authorization phase: Following a successful PANA authentication
       phase, the PaC gains access to the network and can send and
       receive IP data traffic through EP. --"

To:

   "o  Authorization phase: __Authorization takes place after a
       successful EAP authentication.  If authorization is succesful
       PaC and PAA establish a PANA session and PaC gains access to
       the network through EP(s).__ --".

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Editorial nits:
 s/Section Section/Section/g
 s/section Section/Section/g
 s/or or/or/g
 s/see See/see/g
 s/crytographically/cryptographically/g
 s/the the PAA/the PAA/g

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