Subject: [radext] AD review of draft-ietf-radext-dynamic-discovery

From: Kathleen Moriarty <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2015 19:11:16 -0500

Hello,

I reviewed draft-ietf-radext-dynamic-discovery and found it to be very well
written, and covering security and privacy considerations nicely as well.
Thank you for that.

I just have a few nits and a question to see if some text can be further
clarified before progressing this to last call.  I'd like to start IETF
last call very soon if the WG is ok with that.

Nits & comments:

Please expand out names of DNS labels on first use (NAPTR, SRV, RR, etc.).
They are obvious to most of us, but are not in the list of acronyms that
don't have to be spelled out,
https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc-style-guide/abbrev.expansion.txt
(If there is a *, RFC editor is okay with not expanding)

Section 3.4.3
In the algorithm, I am confused by step 12 that simply says "Proceed with
step 18."  Are there conditions that would have you decide to skip steps
13-17 or is this meant to be interpreted as proceed with step 18, then go
back to step 13?  The example later shows that you skip 13-17, but why this
happens isn't clear to me.  Did I miss an explanation?

Section 3.4.4
First paragraph: The second sentence is super long and the last one is also
a bit too long, can something be done to make these sentences easier to
read?

Section 3.4.5
Second to last sentence, just a nit:
s/control/controls/

The algorithm therefore control execution time with
   TIMER.

Section 3.4.6
There are some formatting issues at the start of this section, you are
probably aware of already.

Thank you.
-- 

Best regards,
Kathleen