Subject: [sacm] Review comments on SACM Architecture

From: Ira McDonald <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 30 Aug 2020 17:17:03 -0400

Hi,

Version:  draft-ietf-sacm-arch-06 (11 May 2020)

Summary:  Quite good document - NOT ready for WG or IETF Last Call

Comments (mostly editorial, some technical):

* Global
- [title case all role names (e.g., 'consumer -> Consumer) for readability]
- [references to "ietf-sacm-terminology" should all be deleted - it expired
  in June 2019]

3.  Architectural Overview

- last paragraph
- provider -> Provider
- Consumers can -> A Consumer can

3.2.1 Orchestrators
- Orchestration components exists -> Orchestrator components exist

3.2.2.  Repositories/CMDBs
- forward reference to unexplained acronym
- CMDBs -> Configuration Management Databases (CMDBs)

3.2.3.  Integration Service
- If...capabilities, the -> If...capabilities, then the
- services are woven - SACM components are woven
- "request/response"-style -> request/response-style
- allow components the ability to -> allow components to

4.1.  Interaction Categories
- Service; broadcast-> Service: broadcast

4.1.1.  Broadcast
- "publish/subscribe" -> publish/subscribe

4.2.1.  Orchestrator Onboarding
- onboards to the ecosystem -> onboards to the SACM ecosystem
- "service handlers" per the Section 5.2 - [but "service handlers" are not
defined in 5.2]
- The following requirements exist... -> [turn rest of paragraph into a
bullet list]
- Administrative interface functions are described... - [widowed sentence
at end of bullet list]

4.2.2.  Component Onboarding
- part of the ecosystem -> part of the SACM ecosystem
- The component onboarding... -> [turn rest of paragraph into a bullet
list]
- understood by the Orchestrator (TBD -> [fix the TBD]

4.3.1.  Initiate Ad-Hoc Collection
- The PCS then forms -> Each PCS then forms

4.3.2.2.  Cancel Periodic Collection
- The receiving PCS -> Each of the receiving PCS

4.3.3.  Coordinate Observational/Event-based Collection
- the "observer" acts as the Posture Collection Service -> [backwards] the
Posture Collection Service acts as the "observer"

4.3.3.2.  Cancel Observational/Event-based Collection
- on that PCS -> on those PCS components

4.3.4 through 4.3.8
- [fix the TBDs]

5.1.  Orchestrator Registration
- onboards to the ecosystem -> onboards to the SACM ecosystem

5.1.6.  Process Description
- service handlers -> [still an undefined term - never appears in 5.2]

5.2.  Component Registration
- part of the ecosystem -> part of the SACM ecosystem

5.2.4.  Request Payload
- [fix TBD]

- identifying-information - component-type -> identifying-information:
component-type [use semicolon delimiters, not dashes]

5.3.1.7.  Response Payload
- [fix TBD]

- 5.3.2, 5.3.3, 5.3.4
- [empty sections - add text]

6, 7, 8
- [fix TBD]

9.1.  Normative References
- [update all references]

9.2.  Informative References
- [I-D.ietf-sacm-terminology] -> [delete reference and embed terms in
Architecture]

Appendices
- [not reviewed - ran out of time and patience]

Cheers,
- Ira

*Ira McDonald (Musician / Software Architect)Co-Chair - TCG Trusted
Mobility Solutions WG*

*Co-Chair - TCG Metadata Access Protocol SG*

*Chair - Linux Foundation Open Printing WGSecretary - IEEE-ISTO Printer
Working GroupCo-Chair - IEEE-ISTO PWG Internet Printing Protocol WGIETF
Designated Expert - IPP & Printer MIBBlue Roof Music / High North
Inchttp://sites.google.com/site/blueroofmusic
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