Subject: [Sipping] Review of draft-ietf-sipping-nat-scenarios-08

From: "Vijay K. Gurbani" <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 21 May 2008 14:57:32 -0500

Chris: I re-reviewed draft-ietf-sipping-nat-scenarios-08.  First
off, thanks for undertaking this monumental task -- you are
a better man for it ;-)

Next, from the split of sections assigned to me (S5.1 and S5.2),
I note that S5.2 still has ANAT; we decided to deprecate ANAT
in the Prague IETF.  So discussions related to ANAT should now
reflect ICE instead.

Apart from that, no other comments in S5.{1,2} of -08.

I did find some *new* problems with -08, especially with the
figure numbering scheme:

   S4.1.1.1: Figure 6: no text describing figure (to be consistent
   with other figures that have text describing them, you may
   want to go through all the figures and ensure that they are
   of the form: Figure X: Explanation of figure.)

   S4.1.1.2: Reused number "6" for figure again; figure numbering
   scheme starts to skew starting here.

   S4.2.1.1.1: By this time, figure numbering is way off.  The
   figure is numbered "7", whereas previous figure was numbered "10".

You may want to go through all the figures and make sure that the
numbers are monotonically increasing by one.

All other comments I had raised during my review of -07
(http://www.softarmor.com/sipping/process/wg-review/reviews/draft-ietf-sipping-nat-scenarios-07-gurbani.txt)
have been addressed except one or two, which I list next:

   - S4.2.1.2.1, the figure starting on page 33: Towards the top of
     page 37, there is a depiction of media flowing from L to R.
     However, there isn't any noun for the "from" preposition.  I
     think the "from" should be followed by the foundation
     $L-NAT-PUB-1, but please double-check.

     In fact, in the rest of the figure, all of the "from" prepositions
     do not have a noun associated with them.  May want to consider
     putting the right foundation after the "from".

   - S4.2.2.2: The third bullet list appears to be superfluous.

That's it.

Thanks,

- vijay
-- 
Vijay K. Gurbani, Bell Laboratories, Alcatel-Lucent
2701 Lucent Lane, Rm. 9F-546, Lisle, Illinois 60532 (USA)
Email: vkg@{alcatel-lucent.com,bell-labs.com,acm.org}
WWW:   http://www.alcatel-lucent.com/bell-labs
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---

From: Salvatore Loreto <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 23 May 2008 15:50:39 +0300

in line one minor editorial comment

/Sal

>      $L-NAT-PUB-1, but please double-check.
the message (5) at pag 34 is labeled *STUN req*  instead of *Alloc Req*