Subject: [stir] minor nits on STIR problem Statement-03

From: "Mishra, Sanjay" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 2014 10:15:03 -0500

Jon - I know I am late with my response but wanted to chime in with a few editorial nits. If changes cannot be accepted that is just fine as there is no material impact to the purpose of the document.

1.       Introduction, First sentence - Suggest to move the word "arises" from the end of the sentence and place it just after where you have  "the need...." Or, simply say "there is a need for identifying...". The placing of the word "arises" as used causes the sentence hard to read.

2.       Introduction, second sentence - Suggest to remove "the" from  "for identifying the communications parties..."

3.       Problem Statement, First sentence - The sentence "...a limited number of carriers trusted each other", I don't think you mean that truly only a few carriers trusted each other, but I think you mean, there were a limited number of carriers and who trusted each other. If you intended latter, then suggest a bit of re-wording something to that effect.

4.       Problem Statement, first paragraph 2nd from last sentence - Reword  "The problem is moreover not limited to voice communications, as growth in text messaging has made it another vector for bulk unsolicited" to "The problem is moreover not limited to voice communications, growth in text messaging is yet another vector for bulk soliciting..." (Removed "as" before growth and instead of saying "has made it to another vector...." Changed the sentence to "yet another vector").

5.       Problem Statement, 3rd paragraph; last sentence - "...as each such call..." remove "such" as it is redundant.

6.       Problem Statement, 5th paragraph is missing "to"  - "Ultimately, any SIP entity can receive an INVITE and forward it any other entity". Add "to" in between the words it and any.

7.       Section 4.3 - Suggest to use the word "from" instead of "of" in the sentence " The call from Carl" instead of "The call of Carl". Likewise, on line 4 of sec 4.4 ("The call of Alice...")

8.       Section 4.3, 3rd sentence - Suggest updating sentence as follows "for example, based on the caller identification information it had received through the PSTN, if available. (add a comma after for example and added words caller identification before information).

9.       Section 4.4, 2nd sentence - Add a comma after the word call "When Alice initiates the call,"

10.   Section 5.2, 6th paragraph, 2nd sentence - suggest to use  "re-signs" instead of "resigns"

11.   Section 6.1, 5th sentence - missing "of" in the sentence "...permits rapid adoption out-of-band"

Thanks
Sanjay