Subject: [Teas] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip-15: (with COMMENT)

From: Murray Kucherawy via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 2021 00:48:24 -0800

Murray Kucherawy has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip-15: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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Just some nits here, adding to what Erik found:

Section 3:

"The topology is comprises four devices ..." should be "The topology is
comprised of four devices ..." or "The topology comprises four devices ..."

In the third bullet: "For example, PF11/PF21 via ..." -- I suggest putting
"send" before "PF11/PF21".

"... achieving the needed QoS assurance ..." -- suggest changing "achieving" to
"satisfying" (since you used "achieve" already in that sentence)

Section 4:

I can't quite parse the first sentence, specifically the end of it.

Section 5:

"... is as the follows:" -- remove "the"

Section 8:

"... BGP security consideration." -- s/consideration/considerations/

"There will no additional ..." -- add "be" before "no", or change "will" to
"are"

---

From: "Aijun Wang" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 2021 09:49:14 +0800

Hi, Murray:

Thanks for your review. I have updated the draft according to your
suggestions. The updated version will be uploaded later, together with
comments from other experts.
Detail responses inline below [WAJ]

Thanks for your efforts.

Best Regards

Aijun Wang
China Telecom

-----Original Message-----
From: [email-masked] <[email-masked]> On Behalf Of Murray
Kucherawy via Datatracker
Sent: Tuesday, January 19, 2021 4:48 PM
To: The IESG <[email-masked]>
Cc: [email-masked]; [email-masked];
[email-masked]; Lou Berger <[email-masked]>
Subject: [Teas] Murray Kucherawy's No Objection on
draft-ietf-teas-pce-native-ip-15: (with COMMENT)

When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email
addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this
introductory paragraph, however.)

Section 3:

[WAJ] Done

"... achieving the needed QoS assurance ..." -- suggest changing "achieving"
to "satisfying" (since you used "achieve" already in that sentence)
[WAJ] Done

Section 4:

I can't quite parse the first sentence, specifically the end of it.
[WAJ] Change the sentence to " When the priority traffic spans a large scale
network, such as that illustrated in Figure 2, the multiple BGP sessions
cannot be established hop by hop within one AS. For such a scenario, we
propose..."

Section 5:

[WAJ] Done

Section 8:

"There will no additional ..." -- add "be" before "no", or change "will" to
"are"
[WAJ] Change to "There are no additional..."

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